I just received an invitation to my company's annual winter party. This year, we're calling it a winter "buffet" because "party" is seems to festive considering what's happening in our industry--our competitors, vendors, and customers have laid of many, many people...we're very fortunate that there's no talk of that within my company. We're so grateful to have secure jobs that many in our office wanted to skip the party altogether and maybe donate the money we'd spand to those in need. Instead, we're spending less on the event itself and the company will donate the savings in the form of a matching gift donation to a local food bank. Nice huh? So what's my beef with the whole thing? Only that they have to call it a buffet and that I have to think about it for the next 5 weeks.
Let me explain. For the next 5 weeks, the thought that this "buffet" is on the horizon is not going to leave my mind. I will imagine all the things I'd love to wear but that would look horrible on me, a millions times. Every time I have a day that's even slightly off plan, I'll think of this "buffet" and stress out. I'll start a countdown in my head...4 weeks to lose X pounds...2 weeks to lose x pounds...only 1 week to lose x pounds...oh no, the thing is in two days!... today's the day! I don't think I want to go. Now is that any way to think of a party-that's-called a-buffet?
And all this leading to a "buffet" where clearly the goal is to eat. So stress about eating for 5 weeks only to go somewhere where, by definition, you eat. Seems silly, doesn't it?
That countdown in my head? It's been here the whole time I've been typing this. I'm telling you. It's not going to go away. It's going to haunt me in my sleep and follow me into the shower and join me on my commute. It will be my bedtime story to myself and the first thing to greet me in the morning. Really? you ask. Pretty much. And then you're probably saying, Betty Lou, you shouldn't mess up your new healthy way of living because of a party (or buffet or whatever). And I would agree, but there's no accounting for the things my brain will do to me. The most I can do, is try to ignore myself and forge ahead.
So there you have it. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go map this whole thing out on calendar (just kidding).
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I have a love/hate relationship with events. They give you a goal/deadline to shoot for, but the problem is, I often become a slave to them. You and I are going to break the chain of failure that we have had in the past. We are going to become friends with food. Best friends. It will happen.
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