How many K's?

I'm actually considering....gasp....training to run a 5K. When I watched last week's Biggest Loser I was inspired by the marathon challenge. I just kept thinking, "It would feel so great to be ABLE to run!" And it would. What freedom that would be! What an adrenaline rush!

For someone who has been overweight her entire adult life, and some of her teen years to boot, this seems like dreaming the impossible dream. But if there's one thing I've learned since baby Elvis' birth it's that I can do hard things. I really can.

I'm so tired of feeling like the overweight equivalent of Jacob Marley in Dickens' A Christmas Carol, weighed down and in bondage from the many chains I have forged through years of physical neglect and abuse. I want to break free!

So how are things going right now? Pretty well. I'm making progress. I can feel new muscle. I feel a bit more energetic. I'm trying my darnedest to make the Insulin Resistance Diet work for me. I know if I do that, it'll help a lot. I'm exercising every day, except Sunday. I'm getting there. I think. I just have to stick with it long enough to see the beginning fruits of my labors. I can be patient if I see that I'm making progress.

I'm also trying to tell myself things that I would never have told myself before. "You're a runner." "You are prediabetic and hypoglycemic." "You can do hard things." "You can get back to a healthy weight and feel good again." Positive talk. In that same vein I'm trying to delete the negative talk that has plagued me since my teen years. It's hard, but I can do hard things, remember?

Above all, I must remember......Whatever you tell yourself you are is what you will become. Hmmm. In that case, I'm a runner who completes 5K's!

Weigh-In: Week 18

Oh where, oh were has my motivation gone? Oh where, oh where can it be?

What? You don't like my singing? Oh, I see. You don't my singing the same ole song. I get it. Put up or shut up. Or perhaps put up AND shut up is more like it. I can take a hint.

PS For the record, my shoes dyed my toes black... just in case you were wondering what was up with that.

Well, 18 weeks in and I've lost.....oh, wait! I've gained! Woohoo! Kidding aside, I have had to become more proactive in my approach. My doctors aren't helping and have no compassion for what I'm going through. I'm not convinced they even believe I for sure have PCOS (I have been diagnosed already by another doctor). Anyway, after a total waste of time 3-hour appointment, I came away with no help at all. Forget them! I'm taking over. If no one will help me then I will just research and figure this out by myself. I'll be following the guidelines of the Insulin-Resistance Diet, continuing exercise, and trying my best to keep a healthy mindset. Wish me luck.

The 1% Principle

I learned an important concept at a homeschool conference a couple of years ago. I can't recall the exact wording of the speaker, but the basic message was this: even if you focus on one small thing (1%), if you do it well, it will have a ripple effect on everything else in your life...or compound (as in interest).

At the time, I understood it but didn't really think to implement it. But lately, I've tried to. I've tried it with homeschooling, with getting a morning routine going, and with gardening. I've even tried it with exercise.

Normally, I'm an all or nothing girl. I don't do this on purpose. It's just where my mindset usually ends up. I orchestrate some grand plan for getting all aspects of my life in order simultaneously, then feel like a complete failure when the pressure of it all shuts me down.

No longer! I've been doing a pretty good job of working on a little bit here and there, getting it to become a habit, and then looking to where else I can improve. And I have found that the 1% principle is true. It really does work.

When I started taking Alli (which by the way, is not working so far), I read an interesting quote in the guidebook that came with it: "I can be patient if I see that I'm making progress." I have thought about that quote over and over in the past few weeks. And I've come to realize that this is very true of me. I am not a patient person, and I will always want it right now! But I can be patient when I see that progress is being made, albeit small. And this idea is proving true in homeschooling, gardening, and establishing routines.

Where this is not working right now is in weight loss. I am not losing any weight despite exercising more, eating less, and taking Alli (some weeks I actually gain). I'm really frustrated here. I'm hoping that my appointment with the endocrinologist this week will be helpful. I'm going to beg and plead for help with my weight loss, because I don't know what else to do. If I was home all day by myself maybe I could focus nearly my entire day on weight loss efforts, but do I really want to have to resort to an obsessive mentality about this? Shouldn't it be something that is sustainable and that won't burn me out? If they can't help me, I really don't know where to turn.

But until then, I will keep up my new exercise routine. I've been getting my exercise in early....at about 6:30 a.m. I've been trying to alternate between cardio and weights. For cardio right now I'm focusing on doing the Couch to 5K program from coolrunning.com except I'm taking it much slower. I really don't care how long it takes, I'll just keep improving daily (1% principle again). For weights, I'm just using the 1/2 hour I have to do arms since that is where I am the weakest. The exercise is getting done early, and I don't have to stress over it for the rest of the day.

In addition to this, I have started scheduling early morning gardening time with my boys. We do garden chores for 1/2 hour after breakfast. That 1% principle is helping here too, as I am not so completely overwhelmed at the ginormous list of garden tasks 7 acres has to offer. I'm slowly making progress on that list, things are actually getting done, I get to be outside which helps my mood and internal body clock, and I'm doing some physical activity. I'm not seeing any of this activity pay off on the scales, but hopefully that will change.

Why do I have a rock climber posted here? Well, that's how I see myself. Sort of. I could sit at the bottom of the mountain complaining about how long it would take me to reach the summit. I could go a few steps and look up and just quit. But that won't help me climb the mountain. How do you climb a mountain? One step at a time. Some steps take longer than others. Sometimes you have to move laterally for a while until you can get a better foothold. But it's all progress. And that's what I'm focusing on. Progress, however small it may be.

peggy sig