Moving in the Right Direction

First of all, I have to say "Amen to That!" to Betty Lou's post below. BL and I are twins in so many ways, and the mood of her post is no exception. I feel exactly the same way.

Fortunately, things are going better for me this week since I decided to go back on Metformin, a drug I've taken to help with PCOS but which can also cause weight loss. I don't know why I waited so long to go back on it...probably because I hate taking meds. But with nothing working (not even Nutrisystem) I had to do something. The side effects have not been fun (how do you discreetly run to the bathroom while shopping at Michael's?), but my body seems to be adjusting. Sleepiness, weakness, and diarrhea are a small and temporary price to pay for a jump start on weight loss.

Earlier this week, before I saw that the Metformin was working, I called my endocrinologist to discuss weight loss meds. When I saw her in May, she mentioned a drug but we decided against it because its side effects and how that would affect a rare heart condition I was recently diagnosed with in March. At the time, I was still waiting for some test results to decide how to proceed with the condition. Since then, I have been made aware of two types types of medication to avoid. So I was calling the endocrinologist to find out if the weight loss med fit into either of those two types.

Man, did I get the run around. Can I just say that I really hate doctors/doctors' offices/doctors' offices' staff? Okay, so I don't hate all doctors. But the whole vibe that I usually get from these places is:

• you can't possibly know anything about your own body.
• we will tell you how we have decided to treat you.
• you may only ask so many questions before you become a pest.
• we'll get back to you when we feel like it.
• we may judge you as harshly as we like.
• we don't care what you read on the internet.
• we have only so much patience for you.

I am venting a little here....the "liason" for the endocrinologist, although fairly nice (at first), knew zilch about medical topics. I could tell she was just regurgitating info from the doctor. She couldn't answer any questions. It was like calling tech support in India.

I was very clear in stating that if a med didn't fit into the two types of no-no drug types, I could take it. Well according to the supervising doctor (who saw me in May for about two minutes), this weight loss med would aggravate my condition. "My condition? Oh you mean the one that you know nothing about because only experienced cardiologists have ever even heard of it? You mean the one that I mentioned that you didn't read up on? That one?" Uh-huh.

I had to call my cardiologist, explain it to them, get their okay, then call the endocrinologist's office back and say "Nanner, nanner, nanner....I told you I could take it, losers!" Okay I wasn't that harsh...I only said "nanner" twice.

So then Miss Liason very curtly told me that she would talk to the doctor "again" (are you hearing the sass in her voice?) and call me back. Yeah. That was Thursday. I don't know if I'll hear from them. And I don't know if I'll bug them about it.

So far, the Metformin is working. The side effects have lessened in intensity, but the decreased appetite has remained. My only concern for the moment (I can't believe I'm about to say this) is that I may not be eating enough. I don't want to slow down my metabolism, but I really am only eating when hungry. I had a quick gain over last weekend, and since Tuesday I have lost almost seven pounds.

I know I can't keep that up, but it has given me just what I needed. A little boost to get going. I don't look any skinnier, but just knowing that I'm losing is exciting. Finally.

Betty Lou Returns

I'm still here. And I'm still fat. I haven't given up yet. I wake every morning with the need/urge to get it together. I have a million and one reasons why it's so hard for me to stick with a plan. I'm busy. I'm broke. I'm overwhelmed. I'm lame. I'm sad. I'm happy. I'm fed up. I'm distracted. I'm unorganized. I'm hopeless. I'm home. I'm working. I'm traveling. It's too hot. It's too windy. Someone needs something. Nobody cares. I'm tired. I'm bored. I'm disgusted. I need help. I need coffee.

What's wrong with me? Why is this so hard. If I think about it as much --if not not more-- than anything else on a daily basis, then WHAT IS THE PROBLEM?

If you know, could you let me in on the secret? In the meantime, I'm doing the best I can.

Updates

Not a good week for Peggy Sue. So busy. And it's extremely difficult to stick to a diet when you are making a massive baby shower cake for someone. There are way too many scraps to eat, plus I was so busy that I ate poorly in between working sessions. So I gained a tad this week.

But I took a bike ride today, and I've updated my mileage on the map for the week. Things have calmed down a bit for me so I'm back on track.

My 2nd Nutrisystem Weigh In

Well, only .8 pounds this week. Sort of. Maybe. My scales broke 1 day before my weigh in, so we had to buy a new one. It's the same brand but surely they are all going to weigh differently. I really need to average 2 pounds a week to meet my Thanksgiving goal, so maybe this week will be better. I don't want to put too much pressure on myself, but I also want to make that goal dangit!

Reliving the Past

I give up. Let me explain. I give up on trying to do this all on my own. I have a very understanding husband who recently promised me, after an intense and emotional and long talk, that he would do whatever it takes to help me lose the weight that has been an albatross around my neck for almost a lifetime. So after a few weeks of giving the "lose weight from scratch" plan a final try, I decided to go back to what has worked in the past. Nutrisystem.

The first time I tried Nutrisystem I was successful, and actually that's how Betty Lou and I found each other. We were at almost identical starting weights and had similar goals and feelings and felt an instant connection with each other. We even lost weight at about the same rates, and had plateaus at about the same time. That's why we call ourselves twins so much. Anyway, I thought my success was due only to the fact that the majority of the food I ate was prepackaged and convenient.

What I didn't know at the time was that because Nutrisystem is glycemically balanced, it was having a very positive effect on my weight loss due to my hyperinsulinimia (which I had yet to be diagnosed with). No other diet plan, and I have tried MANY, had ever been as easy or as successful. And so, here I am on Nutrisystem again, hoping that this baby weight (and then some) will be obliterated by these little colorful boxes of reheatable/rehydratable foods.

I've been on it for almost 2 weeks. The first week I lost 2.2 pounds (Betty Lou, this is a correction from the 1.6 I told you about). I've had a few trying days, but on the whole have been doing well on it. I have high hopes for my official weigh in on Friday morning, even though stepping on the scales today was no fun. Fluctuation, let's call it.

Anyway, with a trip to see my inlaws coming up at Thanksgiving I am anxious and eager to see some results. Because as I've said before, if I can see I'm making progress, I can be patient.

Go Nutrisystem!

Love,
Peggy Sue (my usual signature is hiding in my old computer!)

Daily Report: Day 188

Breakfast

• peach
• 2 morningstar farms soy sausage patties

Snack

• peach
  

Lunch

• pita chips
• carrots
• humus

Snack

• watermelon

Dinner

• 1/2 cup brown rice pasta w/marainara
• spinach

Dessert

• 100 cal dark choc bar melted over raw almonds and raisins

Water

• 60+ oz

Exercise

• Week one, day one C25K (3o mins, walk/jog

Observations: Snacky day. Need better meal planning on my work at home days. Too easy to grab whatever and not include protein.

Daily Report: Day, um what day is this?

Something happened this weekend. It's almost as if Peggy Sue turned on the radio and a very danceable song came on and she starting tapping her foot, and then I starting starting tapping my fingers, and then she started nodding her head, and then I then I started, well I don't know exactly how it happened! All I know is suddenly we were dancing around our respective houses, excited and motivated again.

Breakfast

• Peach
• 1 piece sprouted bread toast w/pnut butter

Lunch

• 2 scrabbled eggs
• salsa (spiked with zucchini)
• 2 corn tortillas

Snack

• sesame thins
• nf iced latte

Dinner

• veggie burger w/lf laughing cow wedge, tomato, on 1/2 ww english muffin
• cucumber salad
• grilled zucchini

Dessert

• 1 scoop homemade ice cream (not diet-y at all, but super delicious)
  

Water
60+ oz

Exercise
2 mile walk

Observation: Hey, it's a start.