Passport to Shamrock and Beyond!

Moving in the Right Direction

2009-08-22T07:14:00.003-05:00

First of all, I have to say "Amen to That!" to Betty Lou's post below. BL and I are twins in so many ways, and the mood of her post is no exception. I feel exactly the same way.

Fortunately, things are going better for me this week since I decided to go back on Metformin, a drug I've taken to help with PCOS but which can also cause weight loss. I don't know why I waited so long to go back on it...probably because I hate taking meds. But with nothing working (not even Nutrisystem) I had to do something. The side effects have not been fun (how do you discreetly run to the bathroom while shopping at Michael's?), but my body seems to be adjusting. Sleepiness, weakness, and diarrhea are a small and temporary price to pay for a jump start on weight loss.

Earlier this week, before I saw that the Metformin was working, I called my endocrinologist to discuss weight loss meds. When I saw her in May, she mentioned a drug but we decided against it because its side effects and how that would affect a rare heart condition I was recently diagnosed with in March. At the time, I was still waiting for some test results to decide how to proceed with the condition. Since then, I have been made aware of two types types of medication to avoid. So I was calling the endocrinologist to find out if the weight loss med fit into either of those two types.

Man, did I get the run around. Can I just say that I really hate doctors/doctors' offices/doctors' offices' staff? Okay, so I don't hate all doctors. But the whole vibe that I usually get from these places is:

you can't possibly know anything about your own body.
we will tell you how we have decided to treat you.
you may only ask so many questions before you become a pest.
we'll get back to you when we feel like it.
we may judge you as harshly as we like.
we don't care what you read on the internet.
we have only so much patience for you.

I am venting a little here....the "liason" for the endocrinologist, although fairly nice (at first), knew zilch about medical topics. I could tell she was just regurgitating info from the doctor. She couldn't answer any questions. It was like calling tech support in India.

I was very clear in stating that if a med didn't fit into the two types of no-no drug types, I could take it. Well according to the supervising doctor (who saw me in May for about two minutes), this weight loss med would aggravate my condition. "My condition? Oh you mean the one that you know nothing about because only experienced cardiologists have ever even heard of it? You mean the one that I mentioned that you didn't read up on? That one?" Uh-huh.

I had to call my cardiologist, explain it to them, get their okay, then call the endocrinologist's office back and say "Nanner, nanner, nanner....I told you I could take it, losers!" Okay I wasn't that harsh...I only said "nanner" twice.

So then Miss Liason very curtly told me that she would talk to the doctor "again" (are you hearing the sass in her voice?) and call me back. Yeah. That was Thursday. I don't know if I'll hear from them. And I don't know if I'll bug them about it.

So far, the Metformin is working. The side effects have lessened in intensity, but the decreased appetite has remained. My only concern for the moment (I can't believe I'm about to say this) is that I may not be eating enough. I don't want to slow down my metabolism, but I really am only eating when hungry. I had a quick gain over last weekend, and since Tuesday I have lost almost seven pounds.

I know I can't keep that up, but it has given me just what I needed. A little boost to get going. I don't look any skinnier, but just knowing that I'm losing is exciting. Finally.

Betty Lou Returns

2009-08-12T15:44:00.003-05:00

I'm still here. And I'm still fat. I haven't given up yet. I wake every morning with the need/urge to get it together. I have a million and one reasons why it's so hard for me to stick with a plan. I'm busy. I'm broke. I'm overwhelmed. I'm lame. I'm sad. I'm happy. I'm fed up. I'm distracted. I'm unorganized. I'm hopeless. I'm home. I'm working. I'm traveling. It's too hot. It's too windy. Someone needs something. Nobody cares. I'm tired. I'm bored. I'm disgusted. I need help. I need coffee.

What's wrong with me? Why is this so hard. If I think about it as much --if not not more-- than anything else on a daily basis, then WHAT IS THE PROBLEM?

If you know, could you let me in on the secret? In the meantime, I'm doing the best I can.

Updates

2009-08-08T11:56:00.003-05:00

Not a good week for Peggy Sue. So busy. And it's extremely difficult to stick to a diet when you are making a massive baby shower cake for someone. There are way too many scraps to eat, plus I was so busy that I ate poorly in between working sessions. So I gained a tad this week.

But I took a bike ride today, and I've updated my mileage on the map for the week. Things have calmed down a bit for me so I'm back on track.

My 2nd Nutrisystem Weigh In

2009-07-25T10:09:00.002-05:00

Well, only .8 pounds this week. Sort of. Maybe. My scales broke 1 day before my weigh in, so we had to buy a new one. It's the same brand but surely they are all going to weigh differently. I really need to average 2 pounds a week to meet my Thanksgiving goal, so maybe this week will be better. I don't want to put too much pressure on myself, but I also want to make that goal dangit!

Reliving the Past

2009-07-22T08:56:00.005-05:00

I give up. Let me explain. I give up on trying to do this all on my own. I have a very understanding husband who recently promised me, after an intense and emotional and long talk, that he would do whatever it takes to help me lose the weight that has been an albatross around my neck for almost a lifetime. So after a few weeks of giving the "lose weight from scratch" plan a final try, I decided to go back to what has worked in the past. Nutrisystem.

The first time I tried Nutrisystem I was successful, and actually that's how Betty Lou and I found each other. We were at almost identical starting weights and had similar goals and feelings and felt an instant connection with each other. We even lost weight at about the same rates, and had plateaus at about the same time. That's why we call ourselves twins so much. Anyway, I thought my success was due only to the fact that the majority of the food I ate was prepackaged and convenient.

What I didn't know at the time was that because Nutrisystem is glycemically balanced, it was having a very positive effect on my weight loss due to my hyperinsulinimia (which I had yet to be diagnosed with). No other diet plan, and I have tried MANY, had ever been as easy or as successful. And so, here I am on Nutrisystem again, hoping that this baby weight (and then some) will be obliterated by these little colorful boxes of reheatable/rehydratable foods.

I've been on it for almost 2 weeks. The first week I lost 2.2 pounds (Betty Lou, this is a correction from the 1.6 I told you about). I've had a few trying days, but on the whole have been doing well on it. I have high hopes for my official weigh in on Friday morning, even though stepping on the scales today was no fun. Fluctuation, let's call it.

Anyway, with a trip to see my inlaws coming up at Thanksgiving I am anxious and eager to see some results. Because as I've said before, if I can see I'm making progress, I can be patient.

Go Nutrisystem!

Love,
Peggy Sue (my usual signature is hiding in my old computer!)

Daily Report: Day 188

2009-07-07T15:46:00.003-05:00

Breakfast

peach
2 morningstar farms soy sausage patties

Snack

peach

Lunch

pita chips
carrots
humus

Snack

watermelon

Dinner

1/2 cup brown rice pasta w/marainara
spinach

Dessert

100 cal dark choc bar melted over raw almonds and raisins

Water

60+ oz

Exercise

Week one, day one C25K (3o mins, walk/jog

Observations: Snacky day. Need better meal planning on my work at home days. Too easy to grab whatever and not include protein.

Daily Report: Day, um what day is this?

2009-07-06T13:15:00.005-05:00

Something happened this weekend. It's almost as if Peggy Sue turned on the radio and a very danceable song came on and she starting tapping her foot, and then I starting starting tapping my fingers, and then she started nodding her head, and then I then I started, well I don't know exactly how it happened! All I know is suddenly we were dancing around our respective houses, excited and motivated again.

Breakfast

Peach
1 piece sprouted bread toast w/pnut butter

Lunch

2 scrabbled eggs
salsa (spiked with zucchini)
2 corn tortillas

Snack

sesame thins
nf iced latte

Dinner

veggie burger w/lf laughing cow wedge, tomato, on 1/2 ww english muffin
cucumber salad
grilled zucchini

Dessert

1 scoop homemade ice cream (not diet-y at all, but super delicious)

Water
60+ oz

Exercise
2 mile walk

Observation: Hey, it's a start.

Betty Lou Checks Out of Detox: (Nearly) Caffeine and Sugar Free

2009-06-22T15:48:00.007-05:00

It's Monday, June 22nd. What have I been doing all month? Why, a 21-Day Cleanse that's what. That's right. Since June 1st I've avoided:

Sugar
Caffeine
All animal products
Gluten
Alcohol

It all started when I got back from a trip to New York. As I was looking at my receipts for my expense report, I realized that I had more than my share of pretty much everything on the list above and I didn't feel that great. I was tired and puffy. I felt like crap. Which is not to say I felt great when I left on the trip in the first place.

I happened to pick up an advanced copy of a book on that trip that outlined a 21 Day cleanse and I read the first part of it at the airport while waiting for my delayed flight... and eating dinner at Panda Express (in my defense, choices are very limited in the Virgin America terminal at JFK).

I started the plan on June 1st, a Monday. As always, I was excited to start something new and, although this plan isn't really about weight loss as much as it is about cleaning the body of toxins and cravings, of course I hoped for the best. I figured a 21-Day anything is good for a 10 pound loss, right? Note: the only exception to this plan: I gave myself permission to have greek yogurt. It's just one of those things that I love and, let's face it, nonfat greek yogurt is not my biggest issue. What else did I eat? Lot's of stuff. And I found some really good recipes and ingredients that I wouldn't have use otherwise, but I'll post about those at another time.

Day 1 was fine. I'd stocked up on all kinds of fruits and veggies and gluten free things and I was fine.
Day 2 was ok if you don't count the dull headache at the end of the day.
Day 3 was not so great. I felt tired and I didn't like the black bean soup I took to work for lunch. But I stuck with all day. My headache was seriously setting in by the time I left the office. Byt the time I got home that night, it was debilitating. I couldn't see straight. I was nauseous. I drank extra water (my cure-all) and went to bed early. I slept from 7:30-6:45. When I woke up, I felt much better.
Day 4-6 So far, so good. Cravings gone for the most part. Not even really missing coffee that much.
Day 7 My son's bday party. Started out great. Made vegan cupcakes and they were disgusting. Jut horrible. I'm not saying all vegan cupcakes are bad, but these we're inedible. I regrouped and made the most wholesome cupcakes I could muster at the last minute. I made the conscience decision to have a single cupcake that day. It was not sugar or gluten or dairy free, but it scrumptious. Later that evening, I also had a beer. It had been a long, hot day. It was not an alcohol free beer ;-).
Day 8-13 Totally on plan.
Day 14 Sunday morning. Really wanted a cup of coffee. Didn't give in to that, but did have a bagel. It was good but I didn't let it derail me completely. Went to the farmer's market and stocked up on fresh veggies and fruits for the week.
Day 15 Stayed strong but some it was a struggle
Day 16 One word: cappuccino. It was delicious.
Day 17 Another cappuccino, but not as delicious this time. Realized that I can do coffee occasionally without it ruling my life. Bonus points for me: cappuccino has far less milk and calories in it that my usual latte, so cutting back on two things with one smallish change.
Day 18-20 In the home stretch and realizing that I really can make most of these changes and stick with them. Had spicy tuna roll for lunch. Not feeling guilty about a little raw tuna. At least it was brown rice.
Day 21, Father's Day. Didn't completely stick to plan (made savory crepes for breakfast=eggs, gluten) and posole for dinner (chicken stock).

All in all, I did great. I've been calling this an experiment because I wanted to see how I felt physically, but it was just as much a mental experiment for me. My craving are pretty much gone. Is that a physical thing or a mental thing? I'm not sure, but it's a good thing. It's Day 22 at 2:30pm and I'm not hungry at all. I'm not dying to have... anything. Maybe some water... I'm kinda thirsty. This morning I had a gluten free waffle with strawberries. For lunch I had leftover squash tacos in corn tortillas. No coffee. No sugar. I'm fine.

What I don't think I can continue with is the no animal products. I wish I could go vegan but for several reasons (sushi anyone?), it's just not realistic for me right now. Maybe I'll post about that some other time, too.

So, now for the big weight loss reveal... ready... 6.2 pounds. Not bad. But not 10. On June 1, I was 221.0--I'd gained everything back and then some. This morning I was 214.8. I don't think you need me to point out that my net loss of the year to date is not stellar. What to do, what to do?

Two things:

Stick with some of the new habits I've formed: avoid sugar, gluten, and alcohol; limit animal products and caffeine; maintain increased amount of veegies and fresh fruits; drink more water.
Get a move on! I've made no progress at all in getting more exercise. I'm so all or nothing when it comes to exercise. Here's my latest: I've downloaded the C25K app to my iPhone. Today is Day 1. It's a 9 week plan to get me running 5k (3.1 miles) nonstop. I've scoped out a 5k the first weekend in Sept. I'll run 3-4 times a week with pushups, crunches, tricep dips, pullups on the in-between days.

Happy now? I am.

How many K's?

2009-05-12T08:39:00.004-05:00

I'm actually considering....gasp....training to run a 5K. When I watched last week's Biggest Loser I was inspired by the marathon challenge. I just kept thinking, "It would feel so great to be ABLE to run!" And it would. What freedom that would be! What an adrenaline rush!

For someone who has been overweight her entire adult life, and some of her teen years to boot, this seems like dreaming the impossible dream. But if there's one thing I've learned since baby Elvis' birth it's that I can do hard things. I really can.

I'm so tired of feeling like the overweight equivalent of Jacob Marley in Dickens' A Christmas Carol, weighed down and in bondage from the many chains I have forged through years of physical neglect and abuse. I want to break free!

So how are things going right now? Pretty well. I'm making progress. I can feel new muscle. I feel a bit more energetic. I'm trying my darnedest to make the Insulin Resistance Diet work for me. I know if I do that, it'll help a lot. I'm exercising every day, except Sunday. I'm getting there. I think. I just have to stick with it long enough to see the beginning fruits of my labors. I can be patient if I see that I'm making progress.

I'm also trying to tell myself things that I would never have told myself before. "You're a runner." "You are prediabetic and hypoglycemic." "You can do hard things." "You can get back to a healthy weight and feel good again." Positive talk. In that same vein I'm trying to delete the negative talk that has plagued me since my teen years. It's hard, but I can do hard things, remember?

Above all, I must remember......Whatever you tell yourself you are is what you will become. Hmmm. In that case, I'm a runner who completes 5K's!

Weigh-In: Week 18

2009-05-09T11:41:00.003-05:00

Oh where, oh were has my motivation gone? Oh where, oh where can it be?

What? You don't like my singing? Oh, I see. You don't my singing the same ole song. I get it. Put up or shut up. Or perhaps put up AND shut up is more like it. I can take a hint.

PS For the record, my shoes dyed my toes black... just in case you were wondering what was up with that.

Well, 18 weeks in and I've lost.....oh, wait! I've gained! Woohoo! Kidding aside, I have had to become more proactive in my approach. My doctors aren't helping and have no compassion for what I'm going through. I'm not convinced they even believe I for sure have PCOS (I have been diagnosed already by another doctor). Anyway, after a total waste of time 3-hour appointment, I came away with no help at all. Forget them! I'm taking over. If no one will help me then I will just research and figure this out by myself. I'll be following the guidelines of the Insulin-Resistance Diet, continuing exercise, and trying my best to keep a healthy mindset. Wish me luck.

The 1% Principle

2009-05-03T18:42:00.003-05:00

I learned an important concept at a homeschool conference a couple of years ago. I can't recall the exact wording of the speaker, but the basic message was this: even if you focus on one small thing (1%), if you do it well, it will have a ripple effect on everything else in your life...or compound (as in interest).

At the time, I understood it but didn't really think to implement it. But lately, I've tried to. I've tried it with homeschooling, with getting a morning routine going, and with gardening. I've even tried it with exercise.

Normally, I'm an all or nothing girl. I don't do this on purpose. It's just where my mindset usually ends up. I orchestrate some grand plan for getting all aspects of my life in order simultaneously, then feel like a complete failure when the pressure of it all shuts me down.

No longer! I've been doing a pretty good job of working on a little bit here and there, getting it to become a habit, and then looking to where else I can improve. And I have found that the 1% principle is true. It really does work.

When I started taking Alli (which by the way, is not working so far), I read an interesting quote in the guidebook that came with it: "I can be patient if I see that I'm making progress." I have thought about that quote over and over in the past few weeks. And I've come to realize that this is very true of me. I am not a patient person, and I will always want it right now! But I can be patient when I see that progress is being made, albeit small. And this idea is proving true in homeschooling, gardening, and establishing routines.

Where this is not working right now is in weight loss. I am not losing any weight despite exercising more, eating less, and taking Alli (some weeks I actually gain). I'm really frustrated here. I'm hoping that my appointment with the endocrinologist this week will be helpful. I'm going to beg and plead for help with my weight loss, because I don't know what else to do. If I was home all day by myself maybe I could focus nearly my entire day on weight loss efforts, but do I really want to have to resort to an obsessive mentality about this? Shouldn't it be something that is sustainable and that won't burn me out? If they can't help me, I really don't know where to turn.

But until then, I will keep up my new exercise routine. I've been getting my exercise in early....at about 6:30 a.m. I've been trying to alternate between cardio and weights. For cardio right now I'm focusing on doing the Couch to 5K program from coolrunning.com except I'm taking it much slower. I really don't care how long it takes, I'll just keep improving daily (1% principle again). For weights, I'm just using the 1/2 hour I have to do arms since that is where I am the weakest. The exercise is getting done early, and I don't have to stress over it for the rest of the day.

In addition to this, I have started scheduling early morning gardening time with my boys. We do garden chores for 1/2 hour after breakfast. That 1% principle is helping here too, as I am not so completely overwhelmed at the ginormous list of garden tasks 7 acres has to offer. I'm slowly making progress on that list, things are actually getting done, I get to be outside which helps my mood and internal body clock, and I'm doing some physical activity. I'm not seeing any of this activity pay off on the scales, but hopefully that will change.

Why do I have a rock climber posted here? Well, that's how I see myself. Sort of. I could sit at the bottom of the mountain complaining about how long it would take me to reach the summit. I could go a few steps and look up and just quit. But that won't help me climb the mountain. How do you climb a mountain? One step at a time. Some steps take longer than others. Sometimes you have to move laterally for a while until you can get a better foothold. But it's all progress. And that's what I'm focusing on. Progress, however small it may be.

peggy sig

Weigh-In: Week 16

2009-04-25T15:30:00.006-05:00

I hate to say it, but I was actually glad to see that I was the same as last week. Why? Because one blue, blue day in the middle of the week, I dared step on the scale and saw that I had gained something like 5 pounds in a couple of days. What??!! I knew it was just one of those things and it wasn't a real gain and this weigh in proves it. Is that something to be proud of? Not really.

Well, I'm at a loss for word about no loss for weight. I ate less this week, moved more and here I am weighing more. I honestly am starting to think something is wrong. I don't know what to do. I'm taking Alli, exercising, gardening, eating less. And now that I have trip for Thanksgiving to get ready for, I had hoped that a modest 1.5 pounds lost a week would be doable. I was trying for that this week but gained a half pound instead. I'm stymied.

Never give up what you want most for what you want right now.

2009-04-19T00:22:00.008-05:00

I realized something over the course of the last few days. It all started when I started reading a book called Naturally Thin. It's written by ... (wait. am I really going to admit this?)... one of the Real Housewives of New York. Have you seen that show on Bravo? It's a ridiculous waste of time, but I've seen more than my fair share of episodes. All of them, perhaps, but who's counting?

Anyway, this tiny size 0 girl who's not even a housewife but who is a natural foods chef is probably my favorite on the show. She says hilarious things and seems to notice that the lives of the other housewives are not as "Real" as most of ours are. And she wrote this book because she is into healthy foods/has had food issues/is smart enough to cash in on one of the few niches in book publishing that's making any money (diet books). For me, it was quite the impulse buy. I really don't need another book telling me what I already know. And certainly not written by a reality show flavor of the week. When it comes down to it, I should be out hiking my hills or walking my dog or pulling my weeds. Anything but watching reality TV or--even worse-- spending money on a book written by a size 0 non real, non housewife. But I did. And I'm sorta glad.

One of the things she talks about in the book is this notion of balance. You balance your checkbook, you balance your calories (although she doesn't advise counting calories, but you have to have a sense of how much you're taking in...) , you balance your meals. And by balancing your meals, she doesn't mean 30%/30%/40%, it's simpler than that: if you have a big lunch, have a light dinner. If you have a protein heavy breakfast, have a salad for lunch. Easy, right? Her point is that it's not about a "diet" it's about a mindset. And I totally get that.

But guess what... I have the worst mindset when it comes to balancing anything. Anything. ANYTHING. Money. Food. Time. My attention. I'm out of whack in a number of ways. I don't know why this is, but I can see a pattern going way back. I've never been good with money. I love it and I hate it. Same with food. I can see that my "issues" with both are very similar. I almost live in denial with both. I hate checking my bank balance. It makes my panicky. I'm horrible at making/sticking to a budget. I just don't even like to think about it. Same with food, although I make "new plans" all the time, I don't stick to them. I hate thinking about a food plan, mapping things out. Making my lunches for the week. Planning dinners. With money, there's never enough or there would be if I was more attentive to the budget, but I'm not and it's frustrating and discouraging and I hate it (is there an echo in here). And with food, it's sort of the same only opposite. Does that make sense? It's such a lack of control that I exhibit over both things. Which is weired because I'm such a control freak about other things. Is that the problem? I'm avoiding these two areas because I can't keep them in control? Or vice verse? Isn't this all so silly? I mean, I'm a smart woman. I can do this. So why am I not?

So all this has been swirling around in my head and then this afternoon Peggy Sue (thanks PS, your timing is amazing!) sends me this quote:
"Never give up what you want most for what you want right now."

And I realize that this all fits together. What do I want most? I want to feel better about myself. About how I look, about how I feel, about how I handle my finances, about how I spend my time. Balance. I want balance in my life. I allow myself to be pulled in so many directions that I'm never balanced. I don't allow myself time to find balance.

I had a good day today in terms of food. Maybe because I kept reminding myself to keep things balanced. We went to a birthday party today for two of my nephews and there was junk galore, but I made really good choices. I could have eaten a bunch of pizza and cake but I had a salad and 1/2 a piece of cheese pizza after. I had a few bites of cake but just enough to not feel deprived and that was fine. I did keep my calories in mind and I came in right at goal today. I was balanced today--at least in terms of my meals. I feel good about that.

Weigh-In: Week 15

2009-04-18T20:18:00.006-05:00

I don't know what to say. I can't but be discouraged by my serious lameness of late. It doesn't feel that great to be back pedaling so quickly. I'm sick of this mentality that I keep falling back into. I really am. I'm determined to get my act together. Why am I just wasting time with all this back and forth??

A late dinner last night sabotaged what would probably have been a minimum .5 loss. Oh well. Hey, I'm back at my starting weight!!!!!! Woo-stinkin'-hoo. I can't believe this. I had such high hopes when we started this blog. I had expected to lose at least 15 pounds by now. And here I am...back at the beginning. Can't quit though. I just have to plow through this.

Daily Report: Day 98

2009-04-09T23:47:00.002-05:00

It was another so-so day. Better than a bad day, but didn't end up being the day I'd planned.

Calories: 1783
Exercise: Had planned to join a gym tonight after work, but it didn't happen for a number of reasons. Planning again for tomorrow.
Water: 65 oz

Victories: Water. Did much better, but still room for improvement.
Defeats: Exercise or lack thereof. I need to make some big changes in that department.

Daily Report: Day 97

2009-04-09T00:57:00.003-05:00

An ok day food wise. Did a lot an awful lot of sitting at my computer working today, so can't claim to have gotten my exercise in.

Calories: 1568
Exercise: none
Water: about 50 oz

Victories: walked away from a cupcake and didn't look back
Defeats: worked too much and didn't make time for exercise at all.

Daily Report: Day 96

2009-04-07T22:23:00.002-05:00

Day 96?! Where is the year going? And why isn't my extra poundage going with it? Because I'm being lazy, that's why! But today was different. Sort of. At least I tracked my calories. Not bad, not great. Better than yesterday.

Calories: 1794
Exercise: 2 miles walking
Water: Not enough

Victories: Only served myself half a sandwich during work-related lunch. Took 2 bites of what should have been a delicious cookie and through the rest away because it wasn't. Chose another flavor, ate half tossed the rest. Sorry to wasteful, starving children in Africa, but my new motto is: if it ain't tasty, it's wasty. Yeah, I need to work on my mottos.
Defeats: Realized AFTER I ate half a sandwich, that the whole sandwich would have been almost 800 calories. 400 cals for half a sandwich? So not worth it!

OnStar? I think I need directions...

2009-04-06T13:26:00.001-05:00

Hello? This is Betty Lou and I'm lost. Where was I going? Well, I thought I was on the road to health and wellness/hotness, but I must have taken a wrong turn on or about March 10 and I've been driving aimlessly for weeks now. There were a few time where I thought I was back on the right road, but I realize now that I've just been going around in circles.

I have a number of good excuses: the kids in the back seat distracted me; there were other good-hearted but clueless drivers on the road... drivers that bake and share the goodies; the car broke down in front of a birthday party and I had to go in to use the ... cupcake? I guess one won't hurt!; I got car sick. To be honest, it's just hard to stay on the right track. It just is.

So, OnStar, can you help me? The big sign that says "stop"? Yes, I see it right in front of me. Let me see if I have this straight: I come to a complete stop at the stop sign and then proceed with caution through the intersection of Popcorn and Cookies; I'll pass Ice Cream, Tortilla Chips and Full Fat Cheese on the right and Mini Bagels with Butter on the left; proceed onto the Expressway of Fitness and Well Being (stopping along the way for walks, time at the gym, and the farmer's market) and I'll see the signs to Happiness. Just follow the signs? Got it! Thank you so much.

Weigh-In: Week 13

2009-04-04T17:16:00.004-05:00

Blame mother nature for me being up from last week. Not that I was on plan for the most part, but I know this isn't an additional gain. I've really been sort of taking it one meal at a time and I've done ok, but I haven't been tracking. This week I'm going back to tracking calories. Has to be done.

I knew it would be higher this week. I could feel it. Hopefully this Alli will help me out some.

April Showers Bring May Flowers...

2009-04-04T06:59:00.003-05:00

...and hopefully an April recommitment will bring a May reward. I want to lose 20 pounds by the end of May (and BL is trying for this as well). I have a homeschool conference to attend, and it would be so nice to have some clothes to wear for it....comfortable clothes!

Here's my plan:

Alli: I bought a pack of Alli yesterday and am going to try it out. It's not a rapid weight loss pill, and doesn't affect my heart (which already has issues, so that's good). It's supposed to boost your weight loss efforts, not be a weight loss tool on its own.
Exercise: I've been so busy and so tired that I haven't been feeling well enough or feeling committed enough to do regular exercise. So for now, I'm working in the garden for 1/2 hour each day with Obi-wan. If I can get a 1 or 2 mile walk in with the kids, I'll do it.
Food: This is my biggest hurdle. Low-fat is usually not hard for me to eat, but low sugar is. Until I can meet with the endocrinologist in May, I'll have to just try to eat less sugar. Eating lots of fat and taking Alli will have me spending a lot of time in the, uh, bathroom. So eating lower fat will be important. I just have to try to behave better. Ideally, I should be recording calories and fat, but I just don't have that kind of time right now. If the weight doesn't start coming off, I will do it though, because that will be an obvious sign that I'm not doing it right.

Okay. Well. Here goes. This weight has to come off. I cannot live this way. I feel like the Michelin tire guy and I hate the way my body feels. I'm so uncomfortable in my own skin. I can do this. I have to. And like BL said to me last week, if I do have to have surgery for my heart condition I really ought to be in the best shape possible.

Weigh-In: Week 12

2009-04-03T16:11:00.006-05:00

Disappointing to see that it's possible gain back almost 4 pounds in less than half the time it took me to lose it, isn't it? I'm trying to get my head back in the game.

This is REALLY late getting posted (sorry BL). I know that my weigh in tomorrow will be more. I had hoped to have lost more because of my hospital stay, but no such luck. I really think my PCOS must be screwing things up. I haven't been eating enough to gain weight, or even stay the same. I might try to go on Alli for a while and see it that helps. I have an appointment with an endocrinologist in May to discuss how to manage my PCOS. I hate that I have to wait that long, but what're you gonna do?

What's up with this weather?

2009-03-09T10:52:00.003-05:00

I walked 2 miles last Monday in the snow, all bundled up. Today, I walked that same 2 miles in 77 degree weather with all my kids and the baby in the stroller! It was a really nice day out. So beautiful! And it feels good to know that my exercise is done for the day. Because even though it was a nice day,

I still hate exercise!

Weigh-In: Week 9

2009-03-09T08:21:00.007-05:00

Somehow I did it again. I can't help but feel that I don't deserve this because I wasn't on plan for most of the time this past week. I didn't exercise at all but most days I hardly ate at all, too. I can't keep that up, even if it does look mighty fine on the scale. And as proof that that it's not good to combine a busy, stressful week with not eating right, I'm not coming down with a cold. But maybe, in some way, I am making long term changes because this week would have given my the perfect excuse to overeat and just plain not care. In addition to a crazy busy week at work, my cat, who had been sick for a while, died. I had to make the decision to take him and put him down. No amount of comfort food can bring my cat back, right?

For some reason I thought that my weigh-in from last week was lower, but it was the same as this week. Not much to be proud of, but at least I didn't gain. I'm trying to wrap my brain around why someone who wants to be slender so badly would continue to eat sabotage foods in sabotage amounts. I am so miserable at this weight....I just hate the way my body feels. I have to find a way to get through this. Now that baby Elvis is eating well and gaining weight, maybe I can relax and get back into getting myself healthy.

Derailed.

2009-03-05T22:48:00.002-06:00

Absent Girl's been at it again. Just when she recommits and decides to give this her all, she gets bad news from the pediatrician. Then, just when she decides that the pediatrician has Ramen noodles for brains and that she should just trust her motherly intuition and get on with it, she gets the mother of all head colds.

I have been severely derailed.

And knowing how stressful life has been lately, and also knowing that I cannot possibly keep all my irons in the fire all burning at the same intensity, I have come to realize that it's time to revamp my goals for weight loss. I still want to lose 50 pounds, mind you; but for the time being, the intensity of my efforts is going to have to slow down a bit. But seeing as how I am often an all-or-nothing girl, I think it's a good thing to try a lower intensity instead of just giving up. So in an effort to adapt to my surroundings/circumstances/pediatrician attacks, here is what I'm working toward at the moment:

Walking at least 3 times a week (I did walk in the snow this Monday!)
Drinking lots of water
Eating and enjoying healthy foods
Attempting to exercise portion control (this is so hard for me because I eat fast)
Limiting, not omitting, treats

I'm afraid that's the best I can do right now. But it really is better than nothing. I've gained weight over the last 3 weeks, and it's time to stop that insanity. It may take me a while, but at least I'll be moving in the right direction.

Betty Lou, thanks for not giving up on me!

Weigh-In: Weeks 7 & 8

2009-03-05T22:39:00.006-06:00

Let's see. Week 7 was a decent weigh-in but I knew it was somewhat of a fluke. I wasn't surprised when I weigh-in this week (Week 8) and saw that I'd gained a little bit back.

Still... this is week 8--almost week 9-- and I haven't even lost a pound a week on average. I have nobody to blame but myself. I need to make me a priority and it's so hard! I'm just trying to stick to my plan for a day, and sometimes an hour, at a time.

Peggy Sue says that Peggy Sue is a loser! Okay, not in the good way either. I've been so stressed lately and it's shown up on the scales. Still adjusting to baby #5 (shouldn't this be old hat for me by now??) and having a hard time dealing with everything in life. I have to resort my goals...will be posting about that soon. I feel bad that I've basically abandoned Betty Lou, although she knows the stress I've been under, as well as the fact that I've been pretty sick this week. All I can do is keep trying to be healthier. But I worry that I may never realize my slender-as-this-body-will-get dreams.

Day 60: Daily Report

2009-03-02T21:17:00.007-06:00

Breakfast

Fage 0% yogurt
Go Lean Crunch
blueberries
1 tsp honey

Snack

Balance Bar

Lunch

chicken soup
12 pretzels
apple

Snack

Balance Bar

Dinner

meatloaf (ground turkey, brown rice, lots o' diced veggies)
green salad w/lf balsamic

Water

80oz

Exercise

No. Argh!

Calories/fat/% 2284/72/28%

Observations: I thought I was doing so well today and I let the thought of some stupid cookies through me way off. I purposely didn't buy any this years and then I got word that my daughter did and that they were on their way home. So I had that second Balance Bar and ened up with a stomach ache. Dang Girl Scouts. I'd also planned to walk 3 miles this evening and a huge storm blew in. If it was sprinkling, no big deal, but it's seriously windy and pouring now. I should have stuck to my original plan of getting my exercise done in the morning, but for some reason, that NEVER happens!

Daily Report: Day 59

2009-03-01T21:45:00.009-06:00

Breakfast

cheese bagel w/1 tblsp lf cream cheese
1 cup grapes

Lunch

cheese bagel egg sandwich
handful of raisins

Snack

nf cappuccino
1 piece dark chocolate

Dinner

roasted chicken breast
1 cup roasted (w/splash of olive oil) veggies (cauliflower, cherry tomatoes, carrots)
1 cup mashed potatoes/cauliflower (made with plain greek yogurt)

Water

about 80 oz

Exercise

Calories/fat/%: 1599/44/24%

Observations: I went a little overboard with the bagels early in the day but I ended up ok for the day. I was busy all day, but didn't get any exercise in...that fact that it rained all day didn't help. For the next week, I'm going to try to get up early and get my exercise in first thing.

Day 55: Daily Report

2009-02-24T16:45:00.008-06:00

As you may have noticed, I've been a slacker when it comes to the daily report. I've been tracking but it all makes so much more sense when I see it "in lights".

Breakfast

banana
apple

Lunch

sweet potato w/1 tsp butter
broccoli and cauliflower

Snack

chocolate chunk cookie from Speciality's. I know, right?

Dinner

brown rice, black beans, spinach, salsa, lf cheese
baked tortilla chips

Dessert

orange

Water

75 oz

Exercise

walked 2 miles

Calories/fat/%: 1632/?/? Couldn't find info on the cookie, but I guessed that it was about 600 calories (nice, huh?). I'm off the charts for fat today. See what one little cookie can do?

Observations: It was a busy, stressful day. I did the best I could. There were probably a dozen cookies left over from our meeting and I didn't stash a bunch of them in my desk drawer, so that's a good thing...

Interesting Research Article about Chocolate and Solving Problems

2009-02-23T21:20:00.006-06:00

Found this article online and thought it was interesting.

Chocolate Spiral Research Debunks Myths
Greenville, NC
Think reaching for chocolate can help you solve your problems? You may want to think twice, as researchers have recently shown through an extensive study proving that chocolate does not solve problems as some have previously thought.

Just ask Peggy Sue, mother of 5 children and regular consumer of chocolate. Peggy Sue took her 5 month old baby, Elvis, to the pediatrician on Monday for a weight check. It seems that, even though Peggy Sue herself is significantly overweight, the milk her body produces for baby Elvis is skim milk! The infant is not gaining weight well, and pressure from the pediatrician staff about supplementing catapulted Peggy Sue into what researchers call "the chocolate spiral".

"Women, and especially mothers, find respite in chocolate...often running to it as a problem-solver when really the opposite is true. It's a myth propogated by the media, movies, other women. Chocolate just makes their stress worse because of the guilt they feel afterward," said Dr. Downwith Sweets, Ph. D. and head researcher at the Chocolate Crisis Clinic (CCC) at Sugar University. "Peggy Sue was the perfect guinea pig for the study as she was suffering from stress AND lack of sleep, not to mention regular doses of guilt stemming from both her inability to lose weight and her lack of control in many aspects of her life. We followed her for nearly a whole day and recorded what she ate in response to stress."

Peggy Sue left her pediatrician's office on Monday, February 23, in a harried state. Having been told by both the nurse practitioner and the pediatrician that her baby's weight gain was unacceptable and that she would need to supplement, Peggy Sue's emotions were in full swing. All of her children, with the exception of her firstborn, began having issues breastfeeding between 3 and 5 months of age and all refused the breast once formula supplementation was begun.

"I didn't want to stop nursing them. But at the time, I didn't know any better than to just quit," Peggy Sue lamented.

Wanting what was best for her baby, but also knowing that a mother's intuition is rarely wrong, she left the pediatrician's office upset, confused, and feeling defeated. "I went through hell the first three months of Elvis' life, just trying to survive breastfeeding. I don't want to give up now because it will feel to me like I did all that in vain. And if this is my last child, I want to savor every moment of 'babyness' with him."

Peggy Sue went first to the craft store to buy cake decorating supplies, and bought a truffle for her and each of her kids at the checkout. "It was just a little truffle," she explained. But that wasn't the end. Far from it. Next, after leaving Target, she was accosted by Girl Scouts selling cookies. Limiting herself to one box, she led her crew down the sidewalk to Barnes and Noble. "I figured I'd be safe there," she recalled

If only that had been true. Strategically placed in the checkout line in most Barnes and Noble stores is a display of Godiva chocolates. Peggy Sue picked up a box of leftover chocolate hearts. "They were 50% off. 50% OFF!! How can you not buy that?" But as soon as Peggy Sue got back to the car and tried them, she knew she had been deceived. The chocolates failed dismally to improve her mood.

Next was the grocery store, where she bought a pack of Reese's peanut butter cups. "It is not uncommon for women to couple their chocolate needs with another medium, such as peanut butter, because that also provides a saltiness that they often crave in combination with the chocolate," explained Dr. Sweets. "This often signals a more serious condition, as is the case with Peggy Sue."

Having once again succombed to the checkout demons, Peggy Sue ate the cups in her car on the way home, while simultaneously opening the Caramel Delites to "share" with her children. "I can't resist that particular Girl Scout Cookie," she confessed. "They just melt in my mouth. But today they just felt, well, wrong somehow. I still felt upset."

Dr. Sweets has dealt with hundreds of women caught in the chocolate spiral. "They all have different stresses, different triggers if you will, but they all have one thing in common. They all run to chocolate in some form or another to deal with those stresses. In Peggy Sue's case, this spiral lasted many hours, well into the evening, culminating in a family dessert that masqueraded as an experiment in healthier eating."

Peggy Sue made a brownie mix for her family's "family night" treat. Lulling herself into a false sense of security, she substituted chickpea puree for the oil in the recipe. "It's a tragedy really. I mean, look at this otherwise sane woman. In her desperation to sort out her stress and emotions she turns to a fickle and unfaithful lover--chocolate--and continually justifies her repeated rendezvous with it. She's gone so far as to call her addiction 'healthy' just because she added some beans in," Dr. Sweets said. "This is why I do this research. This is why we started the CCC. To help women like Peggy Sue. But in the end, no one can do this for her. She has to be the one to make the changes."

Peggy Sue was later able to reach a friend by phone who talked her through the problem and encouraged her to trust her intuition regarding the breastfeeding problem. Together they were able to come up with a plan to tackle the issue. Unfortunately, the damage had already been done. "Too often, women like Peggy Sue find a viable option for dealing with their stress too late. Looking back on their actions, they feel an overwhelming sense of guilt and remorse that often makes them feel worse than before. In Peggy Sue's case, the situation is most dire because she has the added burden of knowing that she may have to stay at her current weight for quite a while to insure that her baby's milk intake doesn't suffer," Dr. Sweets commented. "It's not a situation that will be easy for her. She has two choices, essentially...she can either give in to the stress and make the situation worse or she can accept the limitations that have been placed on her and 'make lemonade out of lemons' as it were. Well, diet lemonade."

Peggy Sue could not be reached for further comment at the time of this writing.

Betty Lou Gets Clear, Gets Organized, and Gets Skinny!

2009-02-23T11:44:00.009-06:00

We could sit here all day and gripe about how hard/impossible/unfair this whole weight loss thing is, right? About how wish we had more time to exercise, or sleep, or plan, or get organized or [enter your need here].... or that we were pampered celebrities so that we could just hire a chef, or a personal trainer, or a plastic surgeon or a [enter your wish here]. But that's not getting us anywhere, is it? I mean, we've done that already, so we know that's not all that effective. Sure, Peggy Sue, we've both lost a little, but we've also backtracked a lot. So, once again, I'm thinking we need to circle the wagons, rally the troops, call in for reinforcement, put on our big fat girl pants (or would that be our fat big girl pants) and get this thing over with. What in the world are we waiting for?

I know this will come as huge news to you, PS, but it's all about the math and planning. And you know that math was never my strong suit, so maybe that's why it's taken me all this time to just put all down on paper, but that's what I did last night. I figured what my calories intake and activity level should be daily and weekly in order to lose 2 pound a week. Is it unrealistic to expect 2 pounds a week? Perhaps. But I'll work for 2 and be happy enough with 1 a week. I may not be good at math, but I can handle this. I'm perfectly happy to make this all one big math problem and take the emotion out of it as much as possible. Just look at the whole objectively. It's not forever... I mean it is forever, but it will only be this hard for a little while. Right? Please tell me I'm right. Pretty please?

So here, once again, is my plan:

Track and count, track and count. 1600 calories per day. Whole, organic foods as much as possible. Lots o' fruits, veggies and lean proteins...the usual.
Move and sweat, move and sweat. Burn 2600/week (using 100 cals per mile or 15 mins other cardio)
Sip and drink, sip and drink. 100 oz water/day
Sleep and dream, sleep and dream. Minimum 7 hours per night.

and finally

Plan and plan, plan and plan. Plan to the cows come home. Plan meals, plan time to exercise, plan everything. I realize that no matter what I manage to achieve by doing the things above, if I don't go back to approaching this in an organized way I'll go back to square one the very moment I lose focus and try to wing it. So plan and plan and then plan the plan some more.

It's doesn't get more basic than that. Does it?

Day 49: Daily Report

2009-02-19T21:14:00.003-06:00

I forgot to record my food as I ate today, so here's my food to the best of my memory:
Breakfast

bowl of bran flakes with milk

Lunch

leftover fish burritos from last night (with fresh salsa, spinach, tomato, cheese, baja sauce)
a serving of leftover fiesta potatoes (trying to use up some taters)

Snack

at homeschool co-op: one piece of sushi and a few bites from a sampler tray of various foods
at home: smoothies with home-juiced fruits, yogurt, and spinach
about a dozen saltine crackers

Dinner

leftover fish burritos and potatoes

Dessert

2 pieces of lemon cake: lemon cake mix made with leftover fresh juice (pineapple, orange, carrot), chickpea puree in place of oil, and eggs

Water

about 70 oz.

Exercise

1 hour walk with the kids (at a good pace, they're good at walking fast)

Victories: Getting back on the horse and recording again.

Defeats: The second piece of cake.

Observations: I shouldn't be making cake. I adore using up leftovers!

The Amazing Adventures of.....Absent Girl!

2009-02-19T07:26:00.008-06:00

Chewing faster than a locomotive. Able to eat tall platefuls in a single bite. It's...it's....ABSENT GIRL!!! What's she been up to? Why, championing the cause of freedom, that's what! Liberating Dove Bananas Foster chocolates from their foil prisons. Freeing phyllo dough from the deep dark recesses of the freezer and baking it up to help it live out it's buttery, cinnamon-sugary dreams. Helping carbs everywhere realize their full potential. Sacrificing her own health to accommodate calories from every food group. What would we do without her?

The answer to your question is Yes, I am full of crap.

I don't know what's going on with me. Rebellion? Boredom? Stress? Well, actually I do know that last one is for sure going on. I keep thinking that I'm just going through a phase and that the next day will be better. But it's not. It's been so hard for me to keep track of everything lately. Add into the equation that Baby Elvis is making night time not so fun anymore, which has made me so much more tired and cranky. Hey Elvis, what's up with this getting up several times a night to nurse? What happened to the sleeping all night long thing, that by the way, you HAD been doing since you were 7 weeks old? But I digress.

My point, and I'm not sure that I have one, is that I have reached some sort of motivational plateau. I'm tired of tracking every morsel of food. Tired of trying to work exercise into the day. Tired of everything. Tired. I can't go back to the type of detailed tracking I was doing before, not right now at least. But I don't trust myself enough to just "wing it" either, because I can feel that I'm gaining weight back. What's a not so super girl to do?

The only thing that I can think of is to simplify my gameplan. Same goals, modified plan. I don't have it completely outlined yet, but here are my rambled thoughts:

I need to try to sweat every day.
I need to get in a minimum of 64 ounces of water a day.
I need to eat 6 servings of fruit and veg each day.
I have to make sure that there are no major temptations in the house.
I think that recording what I eat is still important, but for now the calories and fat calculations are going to have to wait in the wings.
Eating slower would be helpful.
Also, some sort of cheat sheet reminder that shows me, in order of importance, what my daily priorities are.

Wow. Not too impressive is it? Well, it's better than nothing, which is about what I've been up to the last few days. I thought about not doing recording anymore, but my food behavior over the last several days has been...um....ahem....less than stellar.

Okay, so starting today, this very moment, I'm back. I'm probably not going to lose weight very fast, but it's a health commitment I'm supposed to be engaging in here, not just a weight loss commitment. Hopefully, persistance and determination will pay off in the long, long, long run. Absent Girl is officially retiring.

Now, if I can just get these stupid tights off.

Day 48: Daily Report

2009-02-18T00:04:00.005-06:00

Breakfast/Lunch

ww mini bagel egg, turkey bacon, lf cheese sandwich
1 cup grapes

Early Snack

ww pretzels

Later Snack

too much cranberry trail mix

Dinner

1 piece homemade cheese pizza (1/8 of 12" pizza)
green salad w/veggies, vinaigrette

Dessert

1/2 strawberry popsicle (100% fruit)
too many lf choc animal cookies (Traders Joes)

Calories/fat/% 1930/72/33%

Water

60+ oz

Exercise

Victories: Not many.

Defeats: Same old story. Isn't this boring?

Observations: I'm a lazy slug and I snack too much. Good news is, the trail mix is gone. I shouldn't have bought it. On the other hand, if I'd just gotten a little walk in, I could have at least made up for the trail mix.

Day 47: Daily Report

2009-02-16T11:29:00.007-06:00

Breakfast

1 c nf plain greek yogurt
1/2 cup Go Lean Crunch
1 tsp honey
1/2 blueberries

Snack

1/4 cup cranberry trail mix

Lunch

chinese chicken salad light with 2 tbsp lite dressing, slivered almonds (no fried noodles or any of that stuff)
small roll

Snack

1/2 c cranberry trail mix... too yummy
12 sesame thins

Dinner

1/2 bruschetta burger at Applebee's (sub veggie burger for beef)
side broccoli

Dessert

2 bites of Diego's choc sundae

Water

60 oz

Exercise

none, too rainy

Calories/fat/%: 1779/67/33%

Victories: keeping damage to a minimum at dinner. I'd planned to split my veggie burger with Gidget but as it turned out, I wasn't that hungry and she order a chicken wrap that was gross so I didn't eat it.
Defeats: too much trail mix/fat

Observations: I'm starting to realize that I need to find a time to exercise (with no kids to consider) and stick to it, rain or shine.

Gimme 5... er... Take 5!

2009-02-16T00:44:00.008-06:00

What I'm trying say is: Whoohoo! I finally lost five pounds! 5.6 to be exact. Took long enough, huh? I got off to a slow start, but now that I'm tracking calories, I think I'm on the right track. That still leaves me with a whole gob of pounds left to lose, but I'm finally thinking I can do it. It's funny that my 5 pound "reward" was supposed to be new sunglasses (I broke my favorite pair and my backup pair disappeared off my desk at work!) and I bought some on sale a few days ago but forgot about them until my weigh-in yesterday. I guess my brain knew that I'd lost this week. I can't wait until my pants know!

I have some other goals/rewards in mind. I'm trying not to tie losses to dates because that usually doesn't work for me. Just going along with my plan... counting my calories and getting my exercise in... should keep my going in the right direction. It's so easy for me to get discouraged, but somehow, I have to keep my eyes on the ultimate prize and trust that I'll get to my goals if I stick with it.

I haven't been tracking my food carefully for the last few days. A crazy make-due schedule took over that was out of my hands and then I came down with the flu. I'm feeling better today and I'll be back to my normal meals and tracking tomorrow.

Betty Lou's Winter Buffet: Epilogue

2009-02-14T23:54:00.009-06:00

As it turns out, not long after I posted my last whiny, self-pitying entry about this stupid party, I received word about a family emergency and I didn't end up going afterall. Saved by the bell? Perhaps. But I would seriously love to hear about a party and not panic about how crappy I look, you know? On the other hand, considering the nature of the emergency, I realize that there are much bigger problems in the world than "what am I going to wear?". I feel pretty silly about the things I stress out about sometimes.

Weigh In: Week 6

2009-02-14T21:53:00.000-06:00

Well, that looks like a good weigh-in to me. Not that it's what I want to weigh... but it's a couple of pounds closer to goal. I had two things going for me this week: I tried really hard to stay on plan with food and I had some unexpected stress that kept me busy and in check. I would gladly trade the reason for my stress for a the pounds I lost if it would do any good... well, maybe gladly isn't the right word... but my life lesson this week is that I can't control anything except myself. And I did. I'm happy about that. PS. by the time weigh-in day rolled around, I was about to come down with the flu. That might have something to do with it, too.

Ick. I'm just not doing so hot. I'm having real motivation problems. And I'm also having issues trying to juggle everything. I wonder if maybe I need to just focus on water, exercise, and eating good foods and not worry about recording every bite for a while. Either that or record every bite and NOT exercise. I don't seem to be very good at handling all those components, with everything else going on in life right now. Not sure how I'm going to handle this. I really didn't think I'd gain this week, because many days I didn't eat that much. I'm in a pickle.

Day 45: Daily Report

2009-02-14T15:38:00.006-06:00

I've been in bed with the flu today, but I think I'm starting to feel human again. This is what I've eaten today:

1/2 sleeve saltines
2 cans ginger ale
1 lime popsicle

Too bad weigh-in's not tomorrow!

Breakfast (late)

Nutrisystem pancake mix with 1 banana, 1/2 c. cottage cheese, 1/3 c. homemade syrup, 1 tsp. smart balance spread (ick)
6 oz. milk/rice milk mixture

Snack

2 100 calorie packs of lite popcorn
1 oz. cheddar cheese

Dinner

steak, cheese fries (made for us by my hubby for Valentine's Day)
cinnamon oblivion (ala Outback) also made by hubby

Water

64 oz.

Exercise

30 minutes of cardio

Victories: Breakfast. Getting in some exercise.

Defeats: Dinner.

Observations: I'm still struggling with motivation and self-control.

Peggy Sue's Cake-athon!! It's not what you think

2009-02-13T22:16:00.001-06:00

I've been noticeably absent the last couple of days, haven't I? No daily reports from me, but I AM still here. I haven't been reporting for a couple of reasons. One, I've been crazy busy cranking out cakes for Valentine's Day. Two, I haven't kept track of my food because when I get in funbusy mode, I just eat to satiate hunger and don't pay much attention to what it is. Usually, it's not the best choice, but my portions are pretty small. I honestly can't remember much of what I've eaten the last couple of days. But my cakes are all done (thank goodness, I'm exhausted and my feet hurt) and I'm going back to recording food/calories/fat tomorrow. Want to know what I've been up to? Here you go:
That's a lotta cake, huh? I've made cakes before but this was my first venture into fondant--both using it and making it. I had a TON of fun and I gave almost all the cakes away to friends and family. Almost, because I felt it was important to taste the fondant with the cake, so my first cake (the blue one with the single pink rose) is the one I tasted. I cut it up with the kids and we all sampled it. Pretty good. I need to experiment more (later) to find the best tasting recipes because I feel that the taste on these took back seat to the fondant. But it was still pretty good. I especially love the zebra stripes! Did those today.

Okay, so anyway.....my apologies, Betty Lou, for flaking out the last couple of days. I have been behaving for the most part, but I'm still afraid for tomorrow's weigh in. I hope it's not too bad. I really am ready to give this more attention; but I had to get this cake stuff done by Valentine's and now all the fondant is used up, my kitchen is all caked out, and I'm tired of standing up frosting, baking, kneading, decorating....at least until Easter.

I'm back. Miss me?

Day 42: Daily Report

2009-02-11T23:11:00.004-06:00

Breakfast

3/4 c. granola
4 oz. soy milk

Rest of the Day

Lean Cuisine frozen entree
1 banana
overdose of KFC popcorn chicken
spinach salad with lowfat cheese and lite dressing
1/2 peanut butter sandwich
1/4 c. chocolate candy melts
1/2 cupcake

Water

80 oz.

Exercise

nope, literally never had a chance

Calories/Fat/%: I got not clue, man.

Victories: Water. Considering all the confections I was around today, it's a miracle I didn't eat more sugar.

Defeats: Still too much sugar, and I had a sugar crash. Not exercising, but I was SO busy today and I'm SO exhausted right now.

Observations: I don't feel good about the weigh-in tomorrow. I feel fat today, and I don't think the scale is going to be nice to me tomorrow. I have done better over the last few days, but my body just feels heavy today. I think I might be getting anemic...I have been craving meat the last couple of days and I never do that unless I'm anemic or getting close to it.

Betty Lou's Winter Buffet: Chapter Two

2009-02-11T15:42:00.008-06:00

Well, well, well... what have we here? A winter buffet? Why am I not surprised that you sneaked up on me like that? It's just like you to be all quiet and lurky and then to pop off the calendar the day before. I predicted that I'd have nothing to wear and I was right! I knew that I'd feel all large and unattractive... even more so than usual... on the day you'd come to town. I have a way of knowing these things. I even knew that mapping out my weight loss five weeks ago wouldn't do any good and that I'd panic the day of no matter what. Don't you ever learn?

Is it that you don't care about me? Is that it? You know that I'm the type to just go anyway, right? Even though I'll feel all ugly and there will cameras there and everyone else will look all nice and be having a great time. Oh, I'll go, alright. Are you kidding me? I never get to go anywhere, so I'll go. And sure, I'll feel self conscience at first. And I'll avoid the cameras at all costs. And tomorrow or the next day when the photos go up on the company portal, I'll look through them in horror and, yeah, you might be able to spot the back of my big fat head in some of them. But, other than that, you'll have no evidence of me there.

After I'm there for a while and I'm chatting with all my work friends, many of whom I hardly see anymore because I'm always high-tailing it home to pick up kids at the end of the day, I might forget that I felt uncomfortable when I first arrived. A little music, a little champagne, an hors d'ouvre here and there. I'll start to have a good time. But at some point, maybe in the ladies room mirror, maybe in a reflection on the way out of the building, I'll see what I forgot about. And it won't be pretty. I'll see why I didn't want to go to the stupid winter buffet in the first place. I'll also see a reminder of why I'm on this dang journey to Shamrock. Because I so don't want to be the most uncomfortable person at the party anymore.

Day 41: Daily Report

2009-02-10T18:04:00.009-06:00

Breakfast

egg, spinach, feta wrap
nf latte

Snack

mini choc croissant

Lunch

lf, vegan split pea soup
small wheat roll

Snack

frozen yogurt

Dinner

mixed green salad, 1 T balsamic dressing
2 pieces toast w/cottage cheese

Dessert

1 2x2" piece of ginger bread

Calories/fat/%: 1632/70/38%

Water

60 oz

Exercise

4 miles walking (on my lunch hour!)

Victories: Not going over calorie goal. Not eating more gingerbread, believe it or not.

Defeats: Not enough water. Too many sweets. Still too much fat!

Observations: I had major cravings today. I think I did a decent job of controlling them. But even a controlled day is not a perfect day. This is challenging!

Breakfast

3/4 c. organic granola
4 oz. soy milk

Lunch

Lean Cuisine frozen entree
1/2 peanut butter sandwich

Snack

1 banana

Dinner

1 small piece homemade cake with buttercream and fondant (baking experiments)
100 calorie pack popcorn

Snack

spinach tortilla with 1/3 c. lowfat cheese and 1/4 c. homemade salsa

Calories/Fat/%: 1495/51.5/31%

Water

50 oz.

Exercise

walked for 1 hour with kids and stroller

Victories: Not going over calories. Finally getting in some exercise.

Defeats: A little low on the calories. I would say cake, but I really needed to know if it tasted good as I was giving away another cake made the same way, and it was all new recipes. Not enough veggies. Not enough water.

Observations: It was a pretty good day. I was very busy making cakes and buttercream, and rolling out fondant, making fondant roses. It was fun. Whenever I am funbusy I never eat a whole lot. It felt good to exercise today, but my hips are killing me tonight!

Day 40: Daily Report

2009-02-09T05:57:00.008-06:00

Breakfast

1 cup 1% cottage cheese
1 apple

Snack

string cheese
banana

Lunch

salad w/veggies, lf cheese, 1/4 avocado, 6 tortillas chips, balsamic vinaigrette,and grilled chicken breast

Snack

string cheese
1 tangerines

Dinner

baked potato w/1 cup broccoli and cauliflower, 1 oz lf cheddar

Dessert

lf vanilla yogurt frozen

Water

80 oz

Exercise

that would be no

Calories/fat/%: 1774/66/33%

Victories: Ok food day, but a bit over my calorie goal and too much fat (all that cheese!)

Defeats: No exercise.

Observations: I like cheese.

Breakfast

3/4 c. organic granola
1/2 c. soy milk
2 Kris Kringles*

Lunch

Lean Cuisine frozen entree
1 c. spinach with 1/4 c. homemade salsa for dressing
3/4 cup sf jello, 1/4 c. ff cool whip, 1 banana

Snack

100 calorie pack of popcorn

Dinner

4 small homemade waffles with butter and homemade syrup
8 oz. milk

Calories/Fat/%: known = 1899/43/20%

Water

bad....32 oz.

Exercise

none...ended up not feeling well when I had planned to exercise tonight

Victories: pretty well with the planned food.

Defeats: Having the Kris Kringles at breakfast (basically Rice Krispie treats with peanut butter instead of marshmallow, topped with combo of choc and butterscotch chips). I had the first one to test it, no really, because I was going to send it to work with Neo. But the sugar base cooked too long and made the bars too hard so I told him not to take it. Didn't stop me from having a second one. Dufus. Plus, I used generic butterscotch chips and that made them not all that great. Why am I wasting calories on stuff that's "not that great"? Huh? Not getting enough veggies or water.

Observations: Too often I eat something and then go "huh, I wonder what the calories and fat are of that?" HELLOOOOO. Do the math first, idiot. This could be a hard week, as I have a LOT of baking to do for Valentine's stuff. As for calories and fat.....I don't really know the actual number because I was doing a fair bit of tasting during baking today....testing homemade fondant, and I did eat the "debris" from leveling a 6" layer of cake.

Day 39: Daily Report

2009-02-08T18:33:00.004-06:00

Breakfast

Irish oatmeal w/berries
hard-boiled egg

Snack

apple
string cheese

Lunch

zucchini w/rice

We interrupt this daily update with a message from Betty Lou's nemisis... popcorn.

Hi! I'm popcorn. You may recognize me from the movies, your local microwave, or even the ballpark. But do you recognize me as a huge obstacle to your weight loss? It doesn't have to be that way! Now, for an unlimited time, when you avoid me at all possible costs, you'll lose weight faster, feel better, and stay on track longer. You'll no longer skip dinner after eating too much popcorn for no good reason. That's right! Simply avoid me and you, too, can have the success you've always dreamed of.

We now return you to our regularly scheduled daily update already in progress...

Defeats: the second half of the day
Victories: um...
Observations: I need to get it together! Sheesh.

Cool Cake Corner

2009-02-07T12:14:00.003-06:00

In today's Cool Cake Corner segment, I am sharing this delightful and fun Valentine's Day Cake. Isn't it cute? I would love to learn how to do that, especially how to stack the cakes in that wonky way. And how to work with gum paste and fondant and pastillage. Hmmm...how would one learn that?

Oooohhh, I know! I know! I could take a 2 week Masters Course from the Wilton School in Chicago!

I would love to do that. And I may be able to, who knows? I'm not sure that I could get a babysitter for that long, but I am going to use this as a reward for breaking 169. I printed off a reminder for my fridge with a few cute cakes on it, hoping that this will keep me from grazing when I'm not hungry. I also have a few other rewards set up at strategic weight-milestones for added incentive.

For now, I guess I'll just do the best I can with the limited cake knowledge that I have. I'm planning on making some cakes this coming week for Valentine's Day. If they turn out nice, I'll post the pics. Wish me luck!

Weigh-In: Week 5

2009-02-07T08:14:00.005-06:00

Hooray! I tried really hard this week and it paid off! Counting calories is tedious but not as bad as I thought it might be thanks to me beloved iPhone and the LiveStrong app. I'm was thrilled to find that I can eat more and lose weight. I'd be more excited if I hadn't followed up my good weigh-in with an self-sabotaging-all-you-can-eat-carb-fest yesterday. I'm back on track today.

I am not surprised to have gained. It was a stressful, minimal exercise week. I lost my drive and determination, but I have it back now and I'm ready to recommit and get 'er done.

Day 37: Daily Report

2009-02-06T20:24:00.007-06:00

Breakfast

1 cup cinnamon puffins
1 cup lf vanilla soy milk

Snack

2 whole wheat tortillas w/butter and cinnamon

Lunch

gnocchi w/marinara and parmesan

Snack

popcorn

Dinner

2 whole wheat tortillas w/butter and cinnamon (is there an echo in here?)

Calories: 1647. I can hardly believe that it didn't add to waaay more. Not that it wasn't 100% carbs. Nice.
Victories: ending the carb-fest when I did. not asking Marido to bring ice cream from the store... I was sooo tempted.
Defeats: see above
Observations: A very busy and hormonal day for me. How embarrassing. Today was also the result of running out of the better choices I've been trying to keep in the house.

Go ahead. Yell at me. I deserve it. But know that I'm not giving in. I'm getting it together as I type and I'm back on track.

Day 36: Daily Report

2009-02-05T19:39:00.001-06:00

Breakfast

1 cup cinnamon Puffins cereal
1 cup lf vanilla soy milk
fake sausage

Snack

apple
green tea

Lunch

salad w/grilled chicken, tomatoes, roasted corn, jicama, a few blue corn tortilla chips, black beans, 2 forksful of chipotle dressing
ww roll

Dinner

1/2 cup ww pasta w/marinara sauce and meatless meatballs
broccoli

Calories: 1452. I don't want to eat more this late in the evening. I thought that salad would put me over the top. Guess not.

Water

80 oz

Exercise

4 miles walking

Victories: Not ANY eating peanut M&Ms that sitting there are chocolatey and nutty in a big bowl at work.

Defeats: Not getting all my calories in (I didn't think I'd even in my life say that!)

Day 35: Daily Report

2009-02-04T23:15:00.010-06:00

Breakfast

1 cup 1% cottage cheese
banana

Snack

apple
lf string cheese

Lunch

spinach salad w/carrot and zucchini & balsamic vinaigrette
3/4 cup 1% cottage cheese
sweet potato (microwaved) w/1 tsp smart balance

Snack

ww pretzels
string cheese

Dinner

4 chicken tacos (4 corn tortillas, total of about 1 cup of grilled chicken, 1 oz cheese, lettuce, taco sauce)

Dessert

3 cups popcorn

Water

3 liters

Exercise

2 miles walking

Multivitamin

Victories: I'd say it was a good day overall but I could have used more breakfast.

Defeats: I'd planned to walk 2 more miles this evening but life took over as it does.

Observations: Uh, hello... eat tacos much? But by limiting the cheese, they were perfectly "legal" and within my calorie allowance for the day. I was surprised to see that after dinner I still had calories left for popcorn. I'm loving this calorie thing... unless the LiveStrong is really an evil plot to make me gain more and all the calorie counts in it are fake... and I have another bad weigh-in tomorrow. Then I'll hate the calorie thing.

I've got good news and bad news.

2009-02-04T12:36:00.004-06:00

What do you want first? Good news? Okay. I have to eat more calories to make sure my dieting is not harming my breastmilk, because baby Elvis lost weight since his last appointment.

Bad news? Okay. I have to eat more calories to make sure my dieting is not harming my breastmilk, because baby Elvis lost weight since his last appointment.

It's nice to not have to limit myself but I feel like this means I won't be able to lose weight now. I felt like I was giving myself plenty of calories, but the dr. wants to make sure that Elvis is getting everything he needs. His head circumference and length were both 75-95 percentile, but his weight has dropped to the 5th percentile.

So. I don't know what's going to happen now. I'll keep exercising and drinking water. I dont' want to give up on nursing because I went through 3 months of major stress and h-e-double-toothpicks just to get to this point.

Day 34: Daily Report

2009-02-02T20:30:00.012-06:00

Breakfast

oatmeal
blueberries

Snack

apple

Lunch

leftover zucchini, eggplant, tomatoes, whole wheat pasta

Snack

one absolutely delicious, homemade by a coworker for a fundraiser, from scratch with almost all organic ingredients (really!) red velvet cupcake with cream cheese frosting

Dinner

lf pretzels (while making dinner... I was starving!)
spinach salad with chicken, lf cheddar, cucumbers, tomatoes, avocado, balsamic vinager

Water

90 oz

Exercise

8 miles walking (to the office from the ferry, to the ferry and back at lunchtime, back to the ferry at the end of the day)

Multi-vitamin

Calories: 1779 (over goal of 1600 but I did a lot of walking today, so I think I'm ok)

Victories: Are you kidding me?! 8 miles walking!

Defeats: I won't call the cupcake a defeat. It wasn't an impulse thing and I knew I could afford it calorie-wise. But I was starving when I got home and that could have been a disaster. I should have had something else as a snack ready for the ride home, maybe.

Observations: It's amazing that on my busy days in the office I can manage to stay on track. I think it is because I'm busy. As long as I planned a bit in advance, a busy day can be a good one.

Breakfast

1 1/2 c. cheerios with milk

Lunch (spread over a couple of hours)

6 oz. yogurt
1 ww cheddar cheese toast (1 oz. cheese)
1/2 c. granola and milk
salad with spinach, grape tomatoes, black beans, and HOT salsa
1/2 c. chocolate chips
6 oz. milk
4 saltines

Snack

Little Debbie heart shaped cakes

Dinner

LARGE bowl of cheerios and milk

Calories/Fat/%: 2010/62.5/28%

Water

40 oz.

Exercise

1 hour Total Body Workout: Aerobics--Total Body

Victories: Exercise. Not blowing it at dinner when I could have just given up on the day and eaten whatever I wanted to (I'm going through a junk food craving phase right now).

Defeats: Water. Not the best food choices. Little Debbies.

Observations: Um, the, uh, chocolate was to try to cool my mouth off after that salsa. Yeah. Cuz it's an old Aztec trick, that we, uh, learned in history! Yeah! And uh, it's the only food that will cure salsa-burn and uh.....Oh forget it. I CAVED! That salsa really was burning. I drank the milk to try and stop it...saltines too. Anyway, my trouble is that I never seem to be able to keep several things going at once. I can exercise well but my food and water will suffer. Or the water is great, but I don't get the exercise in. Guess that's my biggest challenge. Making it all work together. But at least I'm exercising.

Day 33: Daily Report

2009-02-02T20:04:00.008-06:00

Breakfast

oatmeal
fresh blueberries
fake sausage patty

Snack

lf string cheese
lf pretzels

Lunch

spinach salad (w/tomatoes, cucumbers, 1 oz shredded lf cheese) wrap in whole wheat tortilla

Snack

nf yogurt
lf animal crackers

Dinner

baked chips and salsa
1 cup zucchini, eggplant, tomatoes, garlic, onions over 1/4 cup whole wheat pasta with a sprinkle of parmesan and a 1/4 cup nf cottage cheese (works like ricotta)

Calories: 1603. Is that all? I feel like I ate all day long... I thought I was going to be way over on calories today.

Water: 3 liters

Exercise: Walked 2 miles

Multi-vitamin: check

Victories: I guess it was a good day.

Defeats: I'd wanted to walk more today. Could trade some of those snacky things for more nutritious stuff. Baby steps.

Observations: Maybe I really wasn't getting enough calories in before. I feel totally satisfied...myabe even a little on the full side.

Breakfast

6 oz. juice
1/2 ww English muffin with butter
1 serving 8-grain hot cereal with milk and cinnamon sugar

Snack

1 ww toast with 1 oz cheddar
6 oz. yogurt

Lunch

1 c. spinach with lite dressing
Lean Cuisine panini sandwich

Snack

6 oz. yogurt
8 large marshmallows

Dinner

Mexican pasta creation (leftover chicken, cheese, elbows, black olives, black beans, red. fat sour cream) about 1 c.
"BLT's" while I was making dinner....too many

Water

90 oz.

Exercise

1 hour Slow-robics (Fit-tv)

Victories: Exercising early in the day!!! Getting more water in, still not to goal, but more. Didn't have ice cream tonight when the rest of the family did.

Defeats: Late afternoon snacking and snacking during dinner prep.

Observations: I do well until mid-afternoon, then I lose it. It's hard for me to cook and do alright with food. I mean, cooking from scratch. When I have a Nutrisystem dinner or a frozen diet entree, it's so much easier, but then I have to make something else for the family. Always a challenge.

Day 32: Daily Report

2009-02-01T12:46:00.011-06:00

Breakfast

2 whole wheat banana pancakes (with flaxseed, no oil) (did you know that when I say "ww" I mean "whole wheat" and not "weight watchers"?)
1/2 cup blueberries
1 morningstar farms fake sausage patty

Lunch

Salad (romaine, cucumbers, cherry tomatoes, zucchini, 1/4 avocado, balsamic vinaigrette)
grilled chicken

Snack

6 handsful movie popcorn (I'm figuring 400 calories for this...not worth it)

Dinner

leftover salad (no chicken or dressing) on a homemade tostada shell with salsa

Dessert

lf animal crackers

Calories: 1617

Water: 2.5 liters

Exercise: hike to the top of our hill (4 miles total), but not the 6-mile loop...had company coming and ran out of time

Victories: not eating more popcorn than I did. finding any time at all to exercise.

Defeats: trading popcorn for something more nutritious

Observations: An ok day considering we had people over and there were snacks galore.

Breakfast

1 c. Kashi flakes cereal with milk
banana

Lunch...and the rest of the day

At this point, I left a trail of destruction so vast, so deadly, so sinister...okay it wasn't that bad. But seriously the rest of the day was a blur of BLT's (bites, licks, tastes) and bad decisions. I honestly have no clue how I could even calculate it.

Victories: zero

Defeats: the entire day

Observations: Not a great day. Sundays are like that for me. I have to figure out a way to fix that. We always come home from church STARVING!

Whine and Dine

2009-01-31T22:03:00.006-06:00

So this was a disappointing week for me. I thought I was doing so well and looking back at my daily reports, I was. But when I saw what my scale had to show me the other morning, I felt completely defeated. Weird for me, really, since I can usually be pretty reasonable about weigh-ins. I know that my weight can fluctuate a lot. I know that it's not realistic to expect a 2+ pound weight loss each week. I know that when I skip meals it doesn't necessarily add up to weight loss for me. For some reason, though, all that reasonable-ness went out the window and I had more than one whine and dine moment over the course of the last couple of days--you know where you whine about not losing fast enough and then dine on whatever you want just to prove that...um...you aren't losing fast enough? I'm not pretending that this all makes sense, I'm just telling it like it is for me.

But this week's weigh-in convinces me that I need to track in a different way. It's apparently not enough to eyeball my portions and write it all down. I need to be more precise so I'm going to take Peggy Sue's lead and track calories--at least for now. I started today. I downloaded an app onto my iPhone that will help me track calories and I'll know at a glance how many more I have left for the day. I can already tell that it will make a difference for me to track this way since I attended a birthday party earlier today and passed on cupcakes and other goodies. I took one look at my calories I had left for the day and I knew that I didn't want to waste them on junk.

I'll still focus on getting my calories from whole foods, but even whole foods, if you eat too much of them, will make you fatter than you want to be. I can't promise that I can quit whining about this all together, but I'll try.

Day 31: Daily Report

2009-01-31T12:11:00.001-06:00

Breakfast

2 slices sprouted bread
1% cottage cheese

Snack

banana
1T peanut buter

Lunch

1 cup ceasar salad
garden burger
2 slices sprouted bread
tomato & lettuce

Snack

1 small tootsie roll (everyone else was having bday cupcakes!)
ww pretzels
nf latte

Dinner

smart dog
ww bun

Water

not enough; didn't track very well

Exercise

zilch

Calories: 1592 (goal 1600)

Victories: Coming out of my slump. Tracking calories and hitting my goal right on the nose.

Defeats: No exercise. Not enough water or veggies.

Observations: see me earlier post, "Whine and Dine"

Breakfast

4 small homemade waffles
8 oz. milk

Snack

banana
6 oz. fat free yogurt

Lunch

Lean Cuisine entree with added reduced fat sour cream, grape tomatoes, black beans

Snack

banana

Dinner, sort of

1/2 peanut butter sandwich
2 small brownies
2 small lemon bars
4 Hershey kisses
8 almonds

Snack????

2 small waffles

Water

64 oz.

Exercise

YES!!!! Finally!!!! 1 hour Total Body Workout

Calories/Fat/%: 2410/61.5/22%

Victories: Hmmm...just exercise, I guess.

Defeats: Just about every eating session.

Observations: I'm starting to get out of control again with eating. I have been hungrier the last few days AND baby Elvis has been too, wanting to nurse more often than his usual 2 hour span. Gotta be a connection there. Doris Day (13) and Obi-wan (10) had a piano recital, and that's where the candy and bars came from. I don't know why I ate them...they weren't that good and I knew they wouldnt' be. But I ate them anyway. Go figure. I think I've had a brownie in some form over the last 4 days. What's up with that?

Weigh-in: Week 4

2009-01-30T22:44:00.006-06:00

I'm beyond bummed. I feel like I tried hard and stayed track all week. The week actually got better as it went along. I have no idea why I gained. Was last week a fluke weight? Am I way off on my portions? Am I sleep eating? Is my scale battery going dead? I just don't get it. I haven't been perfect, but I've definitely been careful. So disappointed this week. I need to regroup and figure some stuff out and quick! Losing weight is so hard. I HATE IT.

I guess I'm going pretty steady here. I really didn't expect to see much weight loss this week, with baby Elvis' antics I was spending a lot of the time couch-bound. I don't think the next weigh-in will be that kind to me though. But maybe I can break 215.

Day 30: Daily Report

2009-01-30T22:30:00.011-06:00

Breakfast

small whole grain bagel egg sandwich (1 egg) with 1 oz lf cheddar
iced nf latte

Lunch

1 cup 1% cottage cheese
banana

Snack

handful of blueberries

Dinner (Fresh Choice)

huge spinach salad w/egg, cabbage, garbanzo beans, peas, sunflower seeds, balsamic vinegar/olive oil
1 corn muffin (small)

Dessert

1/2 cup vanilla soft serve

Water

60 oz

Exercise

Victories: I kept the dessert situation under control at dinner. I sent all leftover pizza from last night in lunches so there wouldn't be any to snack on (cold pizza... yummm)

Defeats: Not enough in the middle of the day and I was starving my the time we had dinner. Not getting my exercise in!

Observations: I didn't feel well yesterday and started off the same today. Headachey, sorta dizzy. I feel better now, but I was really up to exercising.

Breakfast

1 c. pears
1/2 c. cottage cheese

Snack

6 oz. fat free yogurt

Lunch

Lean Cuisine pizza
spinach salad with 1 Tbsp. dressing
banana
100 calorie peanut butter cookie pack

Snack

Sabotage Sandwich: 2 slices bread, peanut butter, 1 banana, 1/4 c. mini mallows (cooked grilled cheese style)
6 oz. milk

Dinner

1 1/2 c. cheerios
8 oz. milk

Snack (out to a movie with a friend)

Outback: 2 crab cakes with 2 tsp. Remoulade sauce
Outback: Shared the dessert trio sampler with my friend

Calories/Fat/%: lost track after dinner

Water

60 oz.

Exercise

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH....um, no.

Victories: Did okay through lunch. I took a small bag of chocolate chips to the movie with me to keep me from buying any movie snacks, but didn't eat them.

Defeats: Sabotage sandwich. Outback.

Observations: Not good eating for weight loss over the last few days. However, considering the damage I would have done before we started this blog, it was a reasonable indulgence at Outback. I figured the 2 crab cakes were better than the Bloomin' Onion or the Cheese Fries. They were really good. The dessert sampler has a smaller than normal (for Outback) portion of 3 desserts, and we split that. So probably 1/3 or less of their normal dessert portions.

Day 29: Daily Report

2009-01-30T22:09:00.011-06:00

Breakfast

2 ww waffles w/1/4 c cottage cheese and 1 T fruit spread

Lunch

popcorn. a lot of popcorn
apple

Dinner

3 pieces cheese pizza

Water

not enough

Exercise

none to speak of

Victories: Can think of any

Defeats: Um... did you read above?

Observations: Clearly, it was horrible day. It all started when I weighed-in and saw that after staying on track all last week and getting extra exercise is and more water, etc, etc. I'd GAINED 1.4 pounds. I didn't plan on blowing it. And I don't plan on continuing to blow it.

Breakfast

Nutrisystem granola packet
6 oz. fat free vanilla yogurt

Snack

1 c. cheerios with 6 oz. milk

Lunch

1/2 banana
wraps: 2 ww tortillas, 3 oz. chicken, 1 oz. Jack cheese, 1 c. spinach, 2 Tbsp. corn, 1/3 c. black beans, salsa, lite sour cream

Snack (here's where I start to blow it)

3 100 calorie packs
4 large marshmallows

Dinner

2 ladle-fuls homemade potato-corn-carrot-ham chowder
2 homemade biscuits

Dessert

1 brownie with 1/2 c. lite ice cream and drizzles of chocolate syrup and caramel...yeah, that's right, I said it...CARAMEL!

Water

40 oz.

Exercise

nope. I don't know what's going on with me this week.

Day 28: Daily Report

2009-01-28T10:14:00.011-06:00

Breakfast

1/2 cup 2% cottage cheese
apple

Snack

SoyJoy bar

Lunch

vegetarian chili
mixed greens, red bell peppers, 1 oz cheddar

Snack

SoyJoy bar (different, but not better, flavor)
1"square dark chocolate

Dinner

1 cup cottage cheese
granola bar
tangerine

Water

3 liters

Multi-vitamin

affirmative

Exercise

4 miles walking

Victories: No coffee!

Defeats: Not a great dinner.

Observations: I have the worse headache on earth. Not sure if it's due to lack of coffee or lack of dinner. I could eat more, but it's late now... the evening got away from me.

Breakfast

1 c. Kashi 7 grain flakes with milk

Snack

1 cinnamon raisin whole wheat english muffin with 1 tsp. butter

Lunch

6 oz. yogurt
Lean Cuisine Orange Chicken frozen entree
2 100 calorie packs pretzels

Snack

cheddar cheese on toast
4 large marshmallows

Dinner

spinach salad: 2 c. spinach, 8 grape tomatoes, 4 oz. chicken, 2 Tbsp. lite dressing

Dessert

1 c. lite ice cream with 1 Tbsp. chocolate syrup

Water

70 oz.

Exercise

none...again...but a good amount of housework

Calories/Fat/%: 1875/50/24%

Victories: Staying pretty close to the calorie/fat goal. Having a salad for dinner instead of what my family was having. Eating lite ice cream instead of full fat, full sugar.

Defeats: Exercise. Water. Not enough fruit and veg.

Day 27: Daily Report

2009-01-27T23:39:00.012-06:00

Breakfast

Luna Bar- Iced Oatmeal
pear

Lunch (out for a work lunch)

tinga de pollo (shredded chicken cooked with onions, tomatoes, chipotle chilis-wrapped in a kind of crepe and topped with chipotle sauce and cheese*)
2 3" corn tortillas
2 T guacamole

Snack

handful of raisins

Dinner

1 cup steamed broccoli
small baked potato
salsa

Dessert

1 cup grapes

Water

3 liters

Multi-vitamin

Exercise

4 miles walking

Victories: Keeping the guacamole in check at lunch. *Scraping the cheese off my tinga.

Defeats: Still struggling with balancing everything. Some days my food is spot on and my exercise is off and some I don't get me water in but I get all my exercise in. Little by little, I'm getting better, though.

Observations: I looked at the resatuarnt menu before I left for lunch and I was planning to have a fish dish. The tinga is something that I love and was the special of the day. I didn't expect it to have cheese on it or I would have asked them to hold it... that was the most fattening part of the dish by far. I think I did the bst I could once I had it in front of me, but the tuna carnitas would have been a better choice, so I should have stuck with me plan. Next time I will.

Breakfast

1 package Nutrisystem pancakes made with one banana
8 oz. milk

Lunch

Chicken salad sandwich
Spinach salad with 1/2 oz cheese and lite dressing
Banana Blackberry Spinach Yogurt Smoothie*

Snack

100 calorie pack Oreo golden cakesters

Dinner

Lean Cuisine Mac and Cheese
Spinach salad with 3 oz. chicken and lite dressing

Dessert**

2 100-calorie chocolate covered pretzels snack packs
1 cupcake
2 pieces almost fat-free cake with cream cheese frosting

Calories/Fat/%: 2260/81.5/32%

Water

70 oz.

Exercise

NO!!! Dangit!!!

Victories: At the grocery store, getting a box of 100 cal. packs to share among me and the kids, instead of a candy bar, or donuts, etc. I did really good until dessert.

Defeats: Eating the cupcake and fat free cake. Not getting my water goal or exercise in.

Observations: *If you haven't tried this smoothie, you should. You can make a yogurt smoothie with banana and any other fruit of your choice, then put in a big handful of raw spinach, blend, and enjoy! The spinach just disappears and you can't even taste it. But you really need the banana in it. **Okay, so I had the 2 pretzel packs in an effort to be full and done before getting to church because I knew there would be food there. I was there for an event for 13yo daughter Doris Day, and I went to go nurse baby Elvis halfway through. My youngest daughter, Shirley Temple, brought me a cupcake from the refreshments. I ate it. I stupid. It wasn't even good. Overcooked. So then, to make myself feel really guilty, I went and ate two pieces of that Bean Puree Cake I was telling you about the other day....with frosting. Yeah. I are smart.

Day 26: Daily Report

2009-01-26T19:44:00.011-06:00

Breakfast

1/4 c lf granola
1/2 cup lf yogurt
1 apple

Lunch

egg salad (mixed w/ 1t smart balance mayo and 1T dijon mustard)
2 pieces sprouted bread
couple of bites of brown rice w/broccoli, chicken, and cheddar that made for the kids lunch

Snack

3 cups popcorn

Dinner

nf latte
oatmeal cookie

Water

3 liters!

Multi-vitamin

yes!

Exercise

None. Such a crazy Monday

Victories: Water. Three liters of water is my goal and I almost NEVER get there. Not eating each and every cookie in the pastry case at the coffee shop while I tried to finish my work.

Defeats: Eating one cookie at the coffee shop while I tried to finish up my work. Oh and not eating dinner because it go too late.

Observations: Mondays are always tough, but today, with one son out of school for a staff work day and the other running amuck and climbing bookshelves all day, it was particularly trying. I realize that's no excuse for the day's eating, but there you have it.

Breakfast

1/2 c. cottage cheese
1 banana
5 aebleskivers

Snack

4 aebleskivers

Lunch

5 saltines
wrap sandwich: 1 ww tortilla, 1 oz. cheese, 2 oz. chicken, homemade salsa, 1 c. spinach
1.5 small baked potatoes with twice baked filling

Snack

1 banana
6 oz. Yoplait fat free yogurt

Dinner

100 calorie Oreo cakesters
homemade hashbrowns
2 egg omelet with homemade salsa, black beans, corn
1 c. spinach with homemade salsa dressing

Completely Unnecessary Sweet Tooth Driven Snack

another 100 calorie cakesters (these 3 cake sandwiches are disturbingly small)
2 large marshmallows

Water

50 oz.

Exercise

none

Victories: Not completely blowing it today after a very stressful visit to the pediatrician's office.

Defeats: Not enough water. Again. That last snack of the day. Stupid, but not a huge deal. Not getting exercise in.

Observations: Ever since I said I was gonna up my water intake, I have had the hardest time just getting in the bare minimum! What did I do, curse myself? Anyway, after dinner I was at 55g fat and EXACTLY 1800 calories!!! I was so proud. Until snack #3. Oh well. The aebleskivers? Well, I gave Neo an aebleskivers pan for Christmas (hey, he asked for it) and I wanted to try it out. They're okay. I like them better cold.

A Puree of Hope in a Fatty World

2009-01-26T18:12:00.005-06:00

Here's the recipe for Bean Puree Cake. Don't give me that look! It's really good! I triple-dog-dare you to try it.
Any Cake Mix Bean Puree Cake
(I just recently tried the spice cake...very good)

pinto bean puree exchanged for same amount of oil called for in recipe (use liquid beans were cooked in to get right consistency)

1 box cake mix

eggs as needed on box

water as needed on box

Substitute bean puree for all the oil. Mix and bake as usual (if using a white or vanilla cake you can do the same with navy beans, black beans for chocolate cake). Frost.

This is a recipe for using dried beans from food storage. I'm sure you could work with canned and give that a try. But we Mormons are always looking for ways to use up and rotate our beans, wheat, etc., so this is a great idea.

Do You Know the Way to San Jose?

2009-01-25T19:35:00.012-06:00

This week's exercise/activity brought me to San Jose, California on our Journey to Shamrock map. (My route, of course, is on the left and Peggy Sue's is on the right. Double click on the map to zoom in.)

So let's see... what can I say about San Jose? Not a whole lot. I don't go there very often. When I was little, we used to drive through San Jose on the way to my grandparent's house (we lived in Central California, back then) fairly often and there was a huge freeway project that was put on hold due to a state budget crisis (not unlike the one we're having now... strange). Anyway, there was a big crazy overpass thing that was built but not connected to the freeway for years and years. To this day, it freaks me out to drive over it... the 9-year-old in me remembers that creepy overpass to nowhere.

Creepy, right? As I searched for this photo, I learned that it was referred to the California Stonehenge.

Years later it looks like this:

Not sure if that's an improvement now that I look at it. But San Jose isn't all about freeway exchanges. It has played an important role in California since 1777 when it became California's first civilian settlement and then went on to be the state's capital during the gold rush in the mid 1800's. Prior to the Spaniards settling there, it was home to the Ohlone Native Americans. It served as an agricultural hub for the west coast (Del Monte was it's largest employer for years), then an industrial center beginning in the 50s and now is the heart of Silicon Valley.

So there you have it: San Jose in a nutshell. But how could we talk about San Jose without a little Dionne Warwick? Enjoy!

Day 25: Daily Report

2009-01-25T18:03:00.008-06:00

Breakfast

2 scrambled eggs
1/2 cup sauteed potatoes, onions, garlic

Snack

large handful of dry roasted peanuts

Lunch

orange
iced mocha

Dinner

kale (fresh from the garden yesterday!) sauteed in olive oil and garlic. This just in: I don't really like kale
garden burger, tomato, lettuce on 2 pieces sprouted bread

Water

85 oz

Exercise

6 mile hike-very hilly

Victories: Not passing out during or after that hike. Seriously. It's a big hill.

Defeats: Too many peanuts. Not enough lunch. Stupid mocha has way too much sugar... I don't really like mochas but my Marido brought it home to me thinking I would like it. It was a moment of weakness after the hike...but the moment was long enough to inhale the whole thing.

Observations: The hike was the same one I did last Monday. I don't know why it seemed harder. Maybe it was the wind and the rain.

Breakfast

1 c. multi-grain cheerios
6 oz. milk

Snack

6 oz. Yoplait Strawberry Shortcake yogurt
1 banana
bites of dishes cooked from food storage items (2 scoop Tostitos with homemade salsa, 1 itty-bitty Dixie cup with white bean soup, 2 1" x 2" pieces spice cake with frosting)

Lunch

6 oz. Yoplait Pineapple Upside Down Cake yogurt
2 large marshmallows
3 ww tortillas
homemade salsa with corn and black beans
salad with 1 c. spinach, 1/2 oz. cheddar, 2 oz. chicken, salsa for dressing

Dinner

8 oz. milk
3 pieces homemade french toast with syrup

Dessert

2 large marshmallows

Water

74 oz.

Exercise

day off

Calories/Fat/%: 1895 calories/25.5 g fat/13% fat

Victories: Stayed pretty well on track today. Fat grams under today, but averaged with yesterday it's perfect. Brought a banana to eat in the car on the way home from church so I wouldn't inhale the entire kitchen upon walking in the door at lunchtime. Homemade salsa was so good.

Defeats: Still not enough water. Too many carbs, not enough produce.

Observations: The food storage items--in our church we really encourage people to store food for emergencies, whether they be natural disasters or loss of income. But sometimes learning to cook with those items in order to rotate them can be tricky. So one of the ladies at church has started bring samples of food made with these items to help people see that there are lots of things to make with them. The cake was made with bean puree instead of oil, and it was SO good.

Day 24: Daily Report

2009-01-24T18:05:00.016-06:00

Breakfast

toaster waffle sandwich (2 multigrain waffles, 1T peanut butter, 1/2 banana mashed)

Snack

orange
10 raw almonds

Lunch

Progesso Light Zesty Santa Fe Soup
2 pieces sprouted bread toast* w/ >1T butter

Snack

two cups popcorn

Dinner

huge portion of salad-romaine, chicken, lf cheddar, chopped apple, lf raspberry vinaigrette

Dessert

3/4 cup choc soy "ice cream"

Water

85 oz

Exercise

2 hours weeding, mulching, turning over soil in son, Indiana Jones', school garden-8 miles
1 mile walking (.5 to school, .5 home)

Victories: Getting over the school for garden day. It was pretty drizzly this morning and it would have been cozier at home, but I'm glad we went. It was a good day overall.

Defeats: My waffle sandwich, while yummy and satisfying, is probably no the best breakfast combo.

Observations: Gardening is hard work! But it was great to leave Young Zorro home with Marido and hang out with Indiana Jones for a while. He cracks me up.

*The sprouted bread I buy has no processed flour in it so doesn't metabolize like a normal piece of bread would. Plus, it only has 90 calories for two pieces.

Breakfast

3 4" pancakes with homemade syrup, butter
8 oz. milk

Snack

1 Lindt truffle

Lunch

Chicken Caesar salad with 1 oz. parmesan, fork-dipped into dressing (1 Tbsp?)
1.5 slices cheese pizza from personal pizza

Snack

100 calorie pack chocolate covered pretzels

Weird Dinner

100 calorie pack nutter butters
3 oz. assorted cheeses
3/4 c. bran flakes in milk
1 c. multigrain cheerios in milk
2 3" pancakes with homemade syrup, butter

Water

70 oz.

Exercise

45 minutes Wii Fit: step with weights (35 min), yoga poses, balance exercises

Calories/Fat/%: 2192 calories/111.5 g/46%!!!!!!!!!!! Wha?

Victories: I chose the salad at Target's snack bar while out shopping, and I only dipped my fork lightly in the very thick dressing. It was actually not bad for a Target salad. Added wheat germ and sweet potato puree to the pancakes to make them a little more healthy.

Defeats: Hmmm, where to start. The Lindt truffle by itself is not bad, and I was pretty proud of myself all the way up to dinner. I dont' know what happened. I just lost it. I ate the cheese while shredding about 12 pounds that I had bought in block form at the store. And what was up with that carb fest? There were pancakes left from breakfast and I get a silly thrill out of making sure leftovers get eaten...I ate the last two. Stupid. It was like I was on auto-pilot. And I obviously have an addiction to cold cereal. Still not getting water.

Observations: I cannot be trusted. Okay. It was just a bad evening for food. Moving on. I didn't get the exercise I wanted to get in today. Apparently no one wants to sell step platforms around here. I'll have to order online. And I didn't get to exercise until 10pm, but I did it!! It's really important to me to follow through because I'm so good at excuses.

Wheat "Thins"? Yeah, Right.

2009-01-23T20:13:00.008-06:00

Sure, you look all healthy and stuff. What with your whole grains and your low fat. And, you are super delicious when I dip you into cottage cheese or hummus. You even have the word "thin" in your name. But you're sneaky (and snacky!). Even if I carefully portion you out (16=130 calories) and tell myself that I can stay away from you if I put your box back in the cupboard, you call to me all day. And on days like today, when I'm working from home, you beg and you whine until I put you out of your misery. My only saving grace this time is that I packed you in kids' lunches all week so there weren't many of you left.

So that's it! I'm recycling your box for the last time and I'm not buying you anymore. I'm sure we'll cross paths again, but just let's just pretend we don't know each other. I'll stay out of your aisle and you stay out of my basket and we'll get along just fine. Farewell, crunchy friend.

Day 23: Daily Report

2009-01-23T14:07:00.013-06:00

Breakfast

1/2 banana
1 c 1% cottage cheese

Snack

16 Wheat Thins
cottage cheese for dipping

Lunch

quesadilla (2 corn tortillas, 1 oz lf cheese, salsa)
handful of blueberries

Snack

pear
handful of wheat thins

Dinner

1/2 cup quinoa
1 cup steamed broccoli & cauliflower

Dessert

1/2 cup choc soy milk "ice cream"
10 raw almonds

Water

70 oz

Exercise

2 miles walking

Victories: Bidding adieu to my good friend with the initials W.T. Buying the soy "ice cream" 1/2c =150 calories (and less sugar) instead of the real stuff.

Defeats: Slacking in the water and exercise departments.

Breakfast

1 1/2 c. bran flakes
1 c. 1% milk
1 tsp. sugar

Snack

8 oz. berry yogurt, fat free
1 slice toast
1 oz. cheddar cheese

Lunch

Lean Cuisine Orange Chicken entree
salad: 1 c. spinach, 1.5 oz. roasted chicken, 1Tbsp. Greek vinaigrette, 1 oz. mozzarella cheese
1 banana

Snack

8 oz. vanilla yogurt, fat free
1/2 c. Kashi GoLean Crunch cereal
4 graham cracker squares

Dinner

4 oz (raw weight) baked flounder filet
sauteed asparagus, mushrooms, onions
cauliflower
1 3" dinner roll

Dessert

1 c. chocolate cherry nut truffle ice cream (yeah, i know)

Water

60 oz.

Exercise

None

Fat/Calories: 65.5 grams/2220 calories.....27% from fat (actually a good percentage, but went over calories by 400...gee, the same amount as the ice cream...huh...I wonder if there's a connection there)

Victories: Sticking to plan....until dessert, that is.

Defeats: Not getting water in again. Having 400 calories of ice cream on a whim (should've read the label first. I was shocked.) Not getting to exercise, but mostly because of baby Elvis.

Observations: I was much hungrier today. Had a bit of a rough day with Elvis, constantly starting something only to have to stop to deal with his fussiness. That always stresses me out. He manages to get fussy just when I'm on a roll with something. I'm glad tomorrow is Saturday....I can get some good workout time in.

Weigh-In: Week 3

2009-01-23T09:39:00.007-06:00

Hooray for Peggy Sue! She hit the 5 lbs. mark! I'm at 3.8 for three weeks. Pretty average, but I can't complain. I have been trying but I've also been resisting the "d" word and insisting on eating normal portions of whole foods. The only problem is, I haven't stuck to my plan very well. I think it's time to revisit my original goals and get back to the basics. I've made some ok mental progress in the last few weeks, so I'm feeling not so bad about 3.8 pounds.

As for last week's exercise challenge, I didn't quite hit my mark of 3.8 miles per day. I did increase average mileage, but I did go from 2.8 to 3.2 miles. It'll be harder now that it's raining, but this week I WILL DO IT.

Now I have reached the 5 pound mark! Over three weeks I suppose that's not too shabby. When I break 215 I'm going to buy myself this apron. The last two days of calorie counting have gone pretty well, considering that that is an activity I really hate. It has made me so much more aware of what I'm eating. I tend to be a mindless eater. But with exercise I have a unique challenge. Time. No, I know, everyone has that challenge. But with a baby who wants to be held ALL THE TIME, I can barely get a shower in most days. Time for a new plan. I'll work on that this weekend. I'd like to take a bike ride tomorrow, but the forecast calls for rain. I'm going to buy a step platform tomorrow, and see what else I can get set up. Exercise is going to be key for me in controlling my PCOS and in losing weight. Wish me luck!

Welcome to Lizard Lick!!

2009-01-23T08:38:00.007-06:00

Unlike Betty Lou, I don't have any large cities to post about just yet. But that won't stop me. My exercise journey to Shamrock, Texas, has brought me to Lizard Lick, North Carolina. I've never actually been IN Lizard Lick, but I have driven past it many times on the highway en route to Raleigh, the state capital.

There's not much to say about Lizard Lick. Here's what I know. It is a small unincorporated community that has its own highway program, a mobile university, and even a tiny TV station -- WLIZ. It keeps company with other "lick" named towns like Big Lick and Lickskillet. In 1998, Nintendo video game company called to say they wanted to use Lizard Lick as a back drop to unveil a new game called "Yoshi's Story". And I know that it has an unusual name.

Many states have towns with funky names, but that is especially true of southern states. So I would like to share with you my Favorite Funky NC Town Names Top Honors Lists, in honor of my journey so far. Enjoy.

Best Food Town Names

Meat Camp
Burgertown
Pumpkin Center
Soda Hill
Chip

Best Foreign/Exotic Wannabe's

Gretna Green
Scotland Neck
Egypt
Vashti
Honolulu
Bahama

Best Animal Names

Bat Cave
Possum Trot
Duck
Cat Square
Tick Bite

Best Whatever Names

Toast
Hairtown
Floral College
Beautancus (pronounced bow-TANK-us)
Hardscrabble
Jugtown
Elf

I love North Carolina!

Day 22: Daily Report

2009-01-22T21:33:00.013-06:00

Breakfast

1/2 baked egg sandwich (1/2 of the sandwich which is made up of 2 baked eggs, roasted red peppers and 1 slice fontina cheese on ww levain bread...not a "half baked" sandwich.)

Lunch

the other half of the sandwich

Snack

orange
2x2" rice crispy treat ( I know, right?)

Dinner

veggies (zucchini, eggplant, tomatoes), a little olive oil, and sprinkled with parmesan

Water

80+ oz

Exercise

2 miles walking

Victories: Almost bought muffin in the morning but went for the egg sandwich instead.

Defeats: The rice crispy treat, duh. And not enough of anything else for the day.
Observations: It was a very trying day and week. Still adjusting this whole plan and trying not to feel frustrated at every little stumbling block.

Breakfast

1/2 c. cottage cheese
1/2 c. tropical fruit, canned

Snack

8 oz. banana cream pie yogurt, fat free

Lunch

1/2 onion + 4 mushrooms, sauteed in 2 tsp. olive oil
1 tortilla
1 oz. Jack cheese
3 oz. chicken
1 c. spinach
1 Tbsp. Greek vinaigrette

Snack

1/3 c. cottage cheese
1/2 banana
1/2 c. Kashi GoLean Crunch
1/4 c. milk

Dinner

Lean Cuisine frozen entree: fish and rice

Snack

8 oz. strawberry banana yogurt, fat free
1 c. diet chocolate mousse
1 slice bread
1 oz. cheddar

Water

60 oz

Exercise

56 minute stability ball workout, BYU-TV

Calories/Fat: 1816 calories, 50.5 fat grams (25%...a little low)

Victories: With the horrible day I had today, it's a miracle that I didn't lose it. I stayed in control the whole day. More exercise than usual. I passed on the refreshments at the Cub Scout Pinewood Derby tonight--had NOTHING.

Defeats: Not getting enough water in, just barely over half of my goal. Not getting in more veggies.

Observations: The stability ball workout did not provide the aerobic workout I thought it would, but it was still a good overall workout. I used my old PolarTech watch today, so I want to start seeing how many calories I burn in my workouts but also just during the day. Hopefully I'll be able to tell if my calorie goal is realistic or not. On days when I have to be away from home, it's hard to get my water in because I don't have a good travel bottle. I had more food tonight than I normally might have, but I was trying to be careful all day and was really hungry by the end of the day.

Day 21: Daily Report

2009-01-21T18:12:00.008-06:00

Breakfast

none

Lunch

spinach salad w/egg, beets, walnuts, lite balsamic dressing

Snack

5 wheat thins

Dinner

pb&j on sprouted bread
apple

Water

8o0z

Exercise

2 miles walking

Victories: Well, I didn't overeat!

Defeats: Not exactly a balanced diet today.

Observations: I'm exhausted.

Breakfast

1 c. bran flakes and milk
1 banana

Snack

6 oz. Yoplait lite Banana Cream Pie yogurt

Lunch

French toast made from homemade rolls, 3 3" rolls; syrup

Snack Attack

1 1/2 c. diet mousse
3 shortbread cookies made by 10yo Obi-Wan
another banana

(insert splitting headache here)
Dinner

had planned not to have dinner, but had 1/2 bag microwave popcorn

Water

60 oz.

Exercise

none

Victories: Having several moments, post eating-binge, of self awareness. But that's it.

Defeats: Eating junk. Not exercising, but the headache caused that. I would've exercised last night.

Observations: See my Queen of Denial post. Tomorrow is another day.

Queen of Denial

2009-01-21T17:01:00.004-06:00

It's time to face the ugly truth. Time to stop kidding myself. Denial is no longer an option. In the wake of some emotional eating today, I realized that I must be more vigilant in this fight against fat. Assuming that I can wing it through the day, shoot from the hip, and otherwise sail through a diet are ideas of utter nonsense right now. I had wanted to just focus on exercising for a while, but my current eating habits are sabotaging even those attempts.

So what does that mean? Ugh. Groan. Whine. Well, for one thing, I have to start counting calories, of course. And that is an activity that I seriously detest. But the realization that, at least temporarily, I must inflict this kind of torture on myself is all too clear. I am partaking too often in mindless eating. This has to stop. Determining the number of calories is a little tricky since I'm a nursing mother, but after some careful research (okay, a few minutes on the internet) I am going to start with 1800 calories. Nursing mothers need anywhere from 200-500 extra calories a day, and I feel like that's a safe place to start. A drastic cut in calories could spell disaster for my milk supply; and after enduring breastfeeding hell for the first 3 months of Elvis' life and not knowing from one day to the next whether I would be able to continue nursing him, I'm not about to do anything that would endanger that. Okay. Daily calorie recording form printed off? Check.

Next. Time to step up the exercise. After perusing at least a dozen TiVo-ed exercise shows, I have quite an arsenal of workout options available to me. The best ones are one hour shows. My favorite one so far (favorite meaning it looked like the best one while I sat on my tush watching it) is Total Body Workout on BYU-TV. Because it's a college station...drumroll...NO COMMERCIALS!!!! Oh wait. That means more workout time. Well, it's not like I don't need it. Anyway, so far I have step, yoga, stability ball, and basic aerobics workouts taped. I especially appreciate the modest workout clothing and the REAL people who are part of the exercise posse. I don't think I want to plan out in detail which workouts on which days, but I DO know that I want to commit to 1 hour of intense exercise, and anything after that is great (like Wii Fit....not much intensity there, but fun). Lots of workouts ready to go? Check.

And next, and easiest, water. I've been doing pretty well with water. But time to step that up as well. I have read many times and from many sources that you should divide your weight in half and that number represents how many ounces of water you should drink per day. So that's what I'm going to shoot for. Big honkin' water bottle ready to fill almost 4 times daily? Check.

The last, and probably the most important for me personally, is sugar. I have PCOS (PolyCystic Ovary Syndrome). In a nutshell, where sugar is concerned, my pancreas overreacts to the sugar that I consume (sugar meaning actual sugar as well as anything that turns to sugar in the body, like carbs). So my pancreas releases tons of insulin to process the sugars. There ends up being a surplus, and the insulin can't just go back to the pancreas so it signals the body to crave more sugar so it will have a job to do. Then, when I eat that sugar in whatever form, my pancreas overreacts again. And so on. And so on. And so on. The cure? There is none. But there is a solution; I've tried it before and it really works. Diet.

Not just any diet. The Insulin-Resistance Diet. And that approach, in another nutshell, is to link protein to other things I eat. For example, if I'm going to have a serving of rice I need to pair that with a lean protein. The protein slows the body's reaction to the carb/sugar making it less likely that my pancreas will go into overdrive. Here are the rules:

No more than 2 servings of carbs at a time.
Space carb intake at least 2 hours apart.
Always pair a serving of carbs with a serving of protein (15 g carb to 7 g protein)
Except for corn and potatoes, eat unlimited amounts of veggies to satisfy hunger.
Carbs found in high-protein dairy and vegetable proteins do not count as carbs.

This way of eating takes a bit of brain power. But even just remembering to eat a protein before or with a carb, not even taking into account the grams, is helpful. That's what I did in the past. And it worked. My energy was better. My sugar cravings decreased significantly. And I just felt better. Eating plan to lose weight and avoid diabetes? Check.

So, what's the stumbling block here? Time. The one thing I will never have enough of. Well, I probably won't ever have enough books either, but I digress. Anyway, time is a commodity in short supply here at home. I home school. I have a demanding (but sweet) nursing baby. I have four other children who need my attention. I have a home to take care of. Yadda, yadda, yadda. In all this whirlwind of responsibility, I also have myself to take care of. I have been mindful lately of the need to prioritize and take care of first things first. The most important thing is my spirituality. And at first when considering where exercise and dieting fit in to my life and it's huge list of stuff, I didn't consider that to be tantamount in the long run. But upon more careful pondering I realized that it is a part of my spirituality. It affects my spirit. It weighs me down physically, emotionally, and spiritually. And it keeps me from becoming the woman I have always wanted to be. I am not saying that it overshadows things that are more important to me like prayer, scripture study, and the like. But I do see in a very real sense how important it is to my spirit that I take care of this body, this temple, that has been entrusted to me. I am ashamed of how badly I have treated it so far, and I want to redeem myself by caring for it with a reverence I should have had all along. New respect for the body and what a healthy body means to me? Check.

Let me just close with a few motivational quotes that I really ought to read to myself daily.

Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.
Robert Collier

To climb steep hills requires a slow pace at first.
Shakespeare

Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
Confucius

Our plans miscarry because they have no aim. When a man does not know what harbor he is making for, no wind is the right wind.
Seneca

Extremely long post? Check.

New and Improved! Buy One Today!

2009-01-21T15:48:00.010-06:00

Access denied. Account disabled. Log-in incorrect. User name and password do not match. Scheduled outage. User does not exist.

These phrases have become part of our everyday life. Why, just the other day my alter ego was informed by a very unfriendly pink message box that her Facebook account had been disabled. Panic set in. How would she stay in touch with the old friends she's reconnected with? How would she know what events and announcements her company's competitors were sending out? And how would she recover photos of her kids that only exist on Facebook?

And just as I, Betty Lou, logged in to write this post, I see that an outage is planned for Blogger this afternoon (at least that's fair warning, but I better write quick!). And poor Peggy Sue is stranded in no-woman's land with no gmail. For two days! I'm not saying that Peggy Sue actually lives in the middle of nowhere, I'm just saying that no gmail=howwillitalktotheoutsideworld?.

But it's not just internet related technology that can put a hitch in our (collective) giddy ups. Believe it or not, I, Betty Lou, use a Nike+ gadget when I go for my long walks. You do not want to be at Betty Lou's house when she's all ready to go out for a walk (to get her 3.8 miles in for the day!) and it turns out that Young Zorro has snatched, and apparently, hidden the gadget. It's not a pretty picture. Or when Gidget, charming college girl that she is, "borrows" the iPod wall charger without asking and doesn't bother to put it back.

Here's another example: I have a new fangled electric food steamer that was given to me for Christmas. It's a triple steamer and you can makes veggies, rice, and fish (for example) all at the same time. Very neat, huh? Except it worked the first time I used it and then didn't work the other day when I was in a hurry and had dinner all planned. I was tempted to call for pizza, but that would have been bad for my girlish figure. So I steamed everything the old fashioned way. In the microwave.

My point is: we're all so reliant on technology that it really messes things up when something goes wrong. And "something" goes wrong all the time! "Something" that we normal people either don't have control over or don't know how to fix. So what do we do? Take the time to come up with plan B or throw everything out the window? Do we order pizza when the steamer doesn't work? Do we skip our walks because the gadget is misplaced and we won't be able to measure exactly how many fractions of a mile we'll go. Do we not track out meals and figure we're off the hook if we're not going to be able to get onto Blogger? Sometimes, to be honest, we do.

Let's face it, there are a million excuses and distractions out there. I'm trying my best to rise above them all or at least most of them. And technology or no technology, I'm sticking to my plan to eat right, to get my exercise in, to do my job the best I can, to be a decent mother, and to try to keep a sense of humor about all of it.

Betty Lou.....Come in, Betty Lou....

2009-01-21T15:04:00.003-06:00

Personal Note to Betty Lou:
I cannot access gmail for the last 2 days. Very frustrating! Just wanted to let you know in case you had emailed me and were wondering why I had not responded.

What's Good for Patsy Cline...

2009-01-21T00:05:00.007-06:00

Ok. so I didn't go out walking after midnight this evening, but I did go out walking after I put the Young Zorro to bed at 8pm. I'm not sure those would make good lyrics. But maybe going out in the evening is what I'm going to have to do when the days are too hectic. I don't mind, really. And although I didn't necessarily eat a lighter dinner knowing I was going to go walk after, I'll remember next time to keep it to one serving even if it is just vegetables.

I'd really prefer to get my exercise in early in the day, before everyone is up, but I just can't face the cold mornings. It may have been 70F today, but it's in the 30s in the mornings lately. There are those who may think the 30s sound warm, but not me. I hope in the spring, when it's lighter in the morning, I can work that in. Right now, getting out of bed and heading out into the cold just ain't gonna happen. I'd rather follow Patsy's example. Only I'm not as lonesome as I can be... and I've go my iPod to keep me warm.

Day 20: Daily Report

2009-01-20T17:03:00.015-06:00

Breakfast

2 ww waffles spread with pb and banana

Snack

sesame brown rice cake

Lunch

quesadilla- 2 corn tortillas, lf cheese, salsa
grapefruit

Snack

nf latte
1 madeleine cookie

Dinner

2 servings of zucchini, eggplant, carrot, tomatoes, basil, garlic, soy crumbles all cooked together served over 1/2 cup (total) pasta

Dessert

handful of raisins

Water

only about 50 oz

Exercise

2 miles walking

Victories: Getting exercise in (after 8pm) on a crazy day. Dinner was a super yummy hodgepodge that son Indiana Jones declared "the best dinner you've even made in your life, Mom."

Defeats: I'm not going to freak out about the cookie, it wasn't very big, but I didn't really need it. I didn't get enough water in.

Observations: Today was crazy for a variety of technical reasons. But between all the craziness and the inauguration coverage I was glued to all day, I'm pretty happy with my 2 miles. It helps that the weather has been so nice here... while Peggy Sue is excited about her snow (and I would be, too!) I'm pretty excited about 70F in the middle of January!

Breakfast

1 c. bran flakes with milk

Snack

1 banana
6 oz. Yoplait Boston Cream Pie yogurt, light

Lunch

2 3" wide homemade rolls
2 beef/turkey patties (total 4 oz.) with mustard

Snack

1 banana
3/4 c. diet mousse
12 oz. hot chocolate

Dinner

2 small ww tortillas, spinach, 3 Tbsp. cheese, 4 oz. roasted chicken breast, 1 Tbsp. Greek vinaigrette

Water

80 oz.

Exercise

Wii Fit (boxing, step, balance): 45 minutes = 3 miles
Shimmy (belly dancing): 30 minutes = 2 miles

Victories: Getting more exercise in (and holding baby Elvis for part of it). Not eating after dinner. Getting my water in.

Defeats: Having more than one cup of hot chocolate. Not enough veggies.

Observations: We finally had a good snow today (we've been waiting for years to get a good one), and hot chocolate was a wonderful treat coming in from the cold. I am not beating myself up for hot chocolate, just for too much of it. It was so nice to watch the snow fall. We don't get much snow, so this was exciting. I'm not doing all that well with food. Maybe it's just too much too handle to worry about exercise and food right now...I don't know. But I know if I stick with the exercise, the food issues will begin to resolve themselves. By the way, that Boston Cream Pie yogurt is sooooo good. I was so sore today from yesterday's exercise, so I took it easy with doing Wii Fit and belly dancing. Still a good workout though. And I never did put on my pedometer.

Exercise is a Pain in the Neck

2009-01-19T21:27:00.005-06:00

I hate exercise. Well, let me amend that. I hate carving out time in the day to dedicate just to keeping or getting in shape, and I hate the machines/videos/paraphernalia that go along with it. While I'm exercising in these artificial ways I often wonder what pioneers would think of people who can't stay in shape just by the hardship of daily life. I'd much rather multi-task and get my workout in while I'm doing actual work. But having said that, I much prefer my washer and dryer to a washboard and clothesline.

There are only three fitness activities that I like. That I love. Tennis, racquetball, and lap-swimming. None of these is available to me at this point in life. I could do those every day and never tire of them. But I can't. So I'm stuck with what I do have available to me. Surprisingly enough, that's a pretty large selection. I have: a treadmill, a home gym, a Total Gym, a stability ball, several sets of hand weights, Billy Blanks Boot Camp videos, Tamilee Webb workout videos, and a Wii Fit. I have also had Belly Dancing videos (that I sold on ebay) and Yoga Booty Ballet or whatever the heck it's called (sold those on ebay too). Plus, I have half a dozen fitness shows set to tape from FitTV. With all this variety, I still have a hard time wanting to exercise. I honestly don't know if it's because (1) I actually hate exercise, (2) my large body feels awkward and uncomfortable moving that way, or (3) I'm just lazy from years of sedentary-ness (which, by the way, is not a word). Maybe it's a combination of all three.

But given the option of either eating less or exercising more, I'll take exercising more. I just have to learn to love it I suppose. Maybe one day it will feel good. (I wonder what it's like to do aerobics and not feel like Ursula the Sea Witch from The Little Mermaid. ) But today, not only was it a pain in the neck figuratively, it was also literally a pain in the neck. I didn't wake up with a crick in my neck, but after exercising I had one. And still have one. I'm not going to use that as an excuse to stop moving though. I've got 4 muffins and a dessert to burn off. Heaven help me at this week's weigh-in. I'm sure gonna need it.

Day 19: Daily Report

2009-01-19T07:13:00.020-06:00

Breakfast

cottage cheese
apple

Snack

handful of Puffins cinnamon cereal
string cheese

Lunch

quesadilla (2 corn tortillas, lf cheese)
cucumber salad

Dinner

1 serving ww pasta with spestich (pesto made with spinach, olive oil, pine nuts, garlic and Parmesan... my new creation)

Dessert

banana with peanut butter

Exercise

6 mile hike the first half of which was straight up a huge hill (1800 ft)

Water

80+oz

Victories: Getting up that hill!

Defeats: I bleached the shower earlier and I have the worst headache on earth. That's the only real defeat of the day.

Observations: I felt so good when the hike was over. Its really, really steep, but I want to do that route at least once a week. The views are amazing. I'll take my camera next time.

Breakfast

2 egg omelet with onions, mushrooms, asparagus, and 3 Tbsp. cheese (Jack and cheddar)
2 pieces whole wheat toast with lite smear of butter
8 oz. orange guava juice

Snack

1/2 c. diet chocolate banana cream mousse with 1 tsp. graham cracker crumbs

Lunch

Wrap sandwich--1 tortilla, 3 oz. chicken, spinach, cukes, 1 tbsp. cheese, lite dressing
2 Applesauce muffins (Dec. Delicious) with carrot puree and added apple pulp from juicing
4 oz. fresh apple juice

Dinner

2 more muffins while making dinner
mini beef/turkey burger on small homemade roll with 1 Tbsp. cheese, sauteed mushrooms and onions
small salad with cukes and lite dressing

Dessert

Family reward for being as nice and helpful as possible all day--chocolate bottoms-up cake, 1 serving

Water

will be about 60 oz. by the end of the evening

Exercise

Total Body Sculpt with Gilad (about 25 minutes)
Pedometer: 1.17 miles

Victories: Exercising at 6 am.

Defeats: Having mousse for a mid-morning snack. I wasn't even hungry, but I had it because the kids were having it. I shouldn't have had 2 muffins at lunch. They're healthy muffins, but I really didn't need it. And I shouldn't have had 2 MORE muffins while making dinner.

Observations: It felt so good, once I was awake, to know that I was already working on my exercise. Where food is concerned, I tried something different today by eating a larger than normal breakfast to see if it would keep the snack attacks at bay. It worked pretty well. You wouldn't think it by looking at what I ate. My overeating today had nothing to do with hunger. And I let the kid who was the most helpful today pick the dessert. Luckily that recipe makes a small cake. I wouldn't call that a defeat, having the cake. But considering I also had 4 muffins today? Not the best food day. Betty Lou is so much better at food than me.

Day 18: Daily Report

2009-01-18T20:30:00.014-06:00

Breakfast (late)

3- 4" sweet potato pancakes, 1 T syrup
2 scrambled eggs

Snack

2 saltines (mindless, oops)
string cheese
grapefruit

Dinner

1 bowl potato-cauliflower soup with added carrot puree
green salad, tomatoes, avocado, balsamic vinegar

Water

80 oz

Exercise

1 hour yard work (raking, trimming, hauling) = 4 miles

Victories: Pretty good day overall.
Defeats: Not getting my planned exercise time in. It was a busy day, but I need to stick with the plan!

Day 17: Daily Report

2009-01-17T09:25:00.015-06:00

Breakfast

2" square piece of gingerbread (made from scratch sub'd applesauce for the oil, so lf)
2 scrambled eggs

Lunch

Salad with romaine, spinach, chicken, grapes, avocado, lf jack cheese (1/4 cup for the whole salad), lf raspberry vinaigrette

Snack

two pieces ww buttered toast (what?!)

Dinner

the rest of the salad from lunch

Dessert/Snack

popcorn, no butter

Water

60, but still drinking

Exercise

Looks like this was my day off this week. I moved non-stop while cleaning out our garage, but I don't know how to measure that.

Victories: None, except I was super tempted to have more of the gingerbread and didn't.

Defeats: TOAST. I made it for Young Zorro because he's kinda under the weather today but he didn't want it. I should have given it to the dog, Rin Tin Tin, but I didn't waste all that lovely butter. There really wasn't loads of butter on it, it's that I have such a weakness for buttered toast. I have to work on that. I wish I hated butter like I hate mayonnaise and sour cream. That would make my life so much easier.

Late Breakfast

3 3"x4" homemade wheat germ waffles, lite smear of butter, minimal homemade syrup
10 oz. milk

Late Lunch

large bowl homemade chicken noodle soup (homemade chicken stock, fresh mushrooms, roasted chicken, carrots, onions, pasta...sooooo good)
2 small homemade buttermilk biscuits with total of 1/4 c. cheese

Dinner

8" tortilla with 1/3 c. refried beans, 2 oz. chicken, 3 Tbsp. cheese, taco sauce
small tossed salad with lite dressing
1 6oz. Yoplait Boston Cream Pie lite yogurt

Dessert

3/4 c. diet chocolate banana cream mousse

Water

64 oz.

Exercise

Pedometer: 4031 = 1.89 miles
Shimmy (Fit TV exercise show--belly dancing moves) 1/2 hour

Victories: Having diet mousse instead of ice cream with the rest of the family. Not snacking all day. Larger meals made that possible. Don't know if that's good or not. Went grocery shopping and did NOT get any evil food. (And I passed up the cute little Ben and Jerry's ice creams...they're like a dollar and so tiny! I love miniatures.)

Defeats: Maybe only if the larger meal thing is an issue. Not sure how to evaluate that. I should've had more veggies.

Observations: Larger meals today really helped me to not feel the need to snack so much. I don't know if that's good or bad, but it sure seemed like I ate less food overall. I spent some time today looking over shows from Fit TV to see what might be good for me. I have quite a few recorded and plan to try them. I've fast-forwarded through them all to get a quick preview, and they all seem doable. I will continue to use my pedometer and log it through the end of January, and then rely solely on other exercise to log my map miles. I am only using the pedometer because I have been so sedentary for so many months. It really has helped me to be more movement-minded.

Day 16: Daily Report

2009-01-16T15:41:00.011-06:00

Breakfast

grapefruit

Snack

pb granola bar
nf latte

Lunch

pb&j on one piece ww toast
apple

Snack

teensy (their name for the child size) scoop of organic ice cream from our favorite place, 3 Twins, on cone

Dinner

4- 1"veggie rice balls (from Deceptively Delicious- pureed spinach, sweet potato, brown rice, lf cheese, rolled in egg and ww cracker crumbs and baked)
green salad w/olive oil vinaigrette

Dessert

handful of grapes

Water

60 oz

Exercise

4 miles walking

Victories: Having the smallest sized scoop of the most delicious cardamom flavored ice cream on earth. Not eating the rest of Young Zorro's (son2) ice cream.
Defeats: Having the cone instead of a cup. Not starting on my water early in the day. Had planned to have a an egg for breakfast but got busy. Not enough protein for the day. Oh, and making those rice balls was not fun, but almost-7-year-old son, Indiana Jones thought it was great.

Breakfast

1 c. bran flakes and milk (what else?)

Snack

6 oz. pina colada yogurt, non-fat

Lunch

1 3" square piece leftover homemade pizza
1 small twice baked potato (Deceptively Delicious recipe)
small tossed salad with lite dressing

Snack

maybe 6 bites of roasted chicken while I was shredding it for later use

Dinner

2 sweet potato pancakes (Deceptively Delicious) with smear of butter, syrup
milk

Damages

I'm not even gonna say how much because it's too embarrassing, but at least with the help of my kids, the chocolate chips are now gone.

Water

60 oz.

Exercise

None. Sorry Betty Lou. Baby Elvis was super fussy all day, and every time I went to do the Wii Fit, he started fussing again. Not a good day.

Victories: None.

Defeats: Chocolate chips, again. But like I said, they are gone. I have instructed the crew NOT to open any more bags (we went in on a bulk order of chocolate from Guittard...thank goodness it's all in Food Sealer bags now). No exercise...but it wasn't for lack of trying.

Ode to Oakland

2009-01-15T23:37:00.013-06:00

Today my virtual journey took me through Oakland, Ca (check out the map to the right to track our journey to Shamrock). I won't lie, Oakland is not my favorite place on earth. Maybe it gets a bad rap. I don't know. Anyway, I wrote it a poem to commemorate my "leaving" it.

Oh Oakland, birthplace of my mother's father, how I do not love to visit you.

Your freeways heading in every direction confuse me. Your streets leave me lost and wondering through unfamiliar neighborhoods. But wait, what is this? From the hills to your east you offer the most amazing views of San Francisco, the bay, and the bridges that cross it. Perhaps I have been unfair in judging you. You are home to some gorgeous art deco buildings and beautiful craftsman houses. Yes, you have had ups and downs. You were born of the gold rush, you offered shelter to thousands after the Great Quake, and you provided for our country in a time of war. For years you have struggled, but are trying to improve in many ways.

Oh Oakland, city of confusing freeways, I do not like to drive in you. But perhaps I will visit you again some day soon...or simply pass through you in my locked car on the way to the airport.